what's my religion?

I went to a wedding today. The bride, a cousin of mine, was the age my mother would have been, 60 something, the groom a Lutheran minister somewhat younger. She for the first time, he the second. They both looked so earnest, I just about cried. I wish them well.

The service was held in a little Lutheran church in a little town, the town where my great great grandfather settled when he came over from Sweden. So I have roots there, probably as much roots as I know of anywhere. I was related to maybe half the people at the wedding through my great grandparents. Overall, they're a pretty tame bunch, very Lake Wobegon. No wild wedding reception, no black sheep, except maybe me. ;)

I couldn't help but think, however, that it's been a very long time since I've attended a traditional Lutheran church service, and how rote and recitational it all seemed now. I was raised in that denomination, even went to a Lutheran college, but lately I've been, well, led differently. My church is now more among the white pines and frog choruses and chickadees and eagles. What a contrast to the liturgy at the wedding service today, complete with Nicene Creed and Holy Communion. The church of doctrine, of organ music and hymns written by sadistic church musicians. I used to think I couldn't carry a tune, thanks to hymnals all written in the wrong keys for my voice, with hymns that droned excessive verbiage with plodding unpredictable melody.

It felt really familiar to me; I knew all the congregational responses, sang along, knew what was coming. But then again, I felt like I did when I was twelve years old and attended my first Roman Catholic mass with a friend when I was a guest at their family cabin. The ritual overwhelmed me then, the genuflection and kneeling and holy water. I was in a panic by the time Communion came along, but then I was saved by my friend's mother who whispered "You can stay here. You only take Communion if you are confirmed Catholic." Which was strange, since I had taken my First Communion as a Lutheran a year before. But when in Rome...

So at least I know what I'm not. But what am I? A worshiper who delights at watching the mating display flight of the snipe? Who is thrilled that she may have seen a peregrine falcon today, not enough info to verify but the wings were so falcon-like? Who noticed the arrival of the yellow bellied sapsuckers on this rainy but warm day? Who thinks Handel's Messiah just can't compare to a frog chorus on a warm spring evening?

My favorite hymn is "How Great Thou Art", appropriately Swedish in origin:

O lord my God
when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works thy hand has made
I see the stars
I hear the rolling thunder
The power of the universe displayed

Then sings my soul
my savior God to thee
How great thou art
How great thou art
Then sings my soul
my savior God to thee
How great thou art
How great thou art!

When through the woods
and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees
When I look down
from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze
Then sings my soul
my savior God to thee
How great thou art
How great thou art
Then sings my soul
my savior God to thee
How great thou art
HOW GREAT THOU ART!

The world, the creation, is good. Let's treat it that way.

we interrupt this regularly scheduled Friday night vodka-tinted rant to give you...

Maggie. I gotta admit, she's cute.

I had no idea I would be surrogate parent to yet another puppy today. The Hermit had warned me he needed a Chesapeake, told me he had one picked out, but...he drove all the way to Fargo ND today (he was halfway there, granted...had to work a wildlife "banquet" last night...) to get her. Didn't warn me that tonight we'd have one more shredder of everything shreddable in the house!

Chesapeakes are supposed to grow larger than Labs. Yikes.

But she is cute, and I like her puppy temperament a lot better than that Brittany we have.

And isn't that a nice-looking boy holding her?

damn phoebes

They're in the new house. Again. Despite the fact that the only entrance for them is under the eaves.

I'll leave a door or window open for them. I guess.

something you'd only see here...

What I forgot to say..

I got enough material for about a week's worth of posts yesterday. It was that wonderful of a day. And tonight the wood frogs and spring peepers are singing, so life is great.

I forgot to mention yesterday, the water in Sand Creek looked very clear. Unsweetened tea colored clear, as is the custom and water standard here. I had posted last year about my worries that the water was turbid. I wonder if that had anything to do with the drought, if water coming from groundwater is perhaps more turbid than runoff water. Either way, the water looks good this spring.

So life is good here. The trout still aren't biting, neither are the creek chubs or common shiners. But we've been out looking for them, and that's what counts.

an anti-melancholy day!

Today was so great I have to post twice. The first, (well, this year it's the second) time we have a sunny day in the spring, with high temperature above 50, well, it's pretty exciting. My cheeks are still flushed, not with excitement, but a touch of sunburn. :)

The pond is now free of ice, as of yesterday. There has been a pair of mallards hanging around; I hope they are thinking of nesting.

I had a haircut/eyebrow waxing appointment at 9:00. Yes, I'm blessed with what would be a very thick unibrow, and I have just enough vanity in me to want to control it some.

When I arrived home, I parked out front to avoid mud. As I was walking in the trail to the cabin, I heard a tapping noise. Of course it was a woodpecker, I was just curious what it was tapping on. I scanned the trees, then looked down on a fallen bough to see a female black backed woodpecker!


So I went out to try to get a photo of the woodpecker (unsuccessful), and the mallard hen (see above). The Hermit and Mr. Attitude were on a recycling run, and when they came back Mr. Attitude got out of the truck to see me by the pond. He and I proceeded to go on a little walk. By the way, he chose the sweater, I didn't. Please click on the photo to enlarge; his look is precious.







We came across a couple of local fellows fishing in the creek. It was Calvin and his friend Keith, who had spent the night. Trout season opened today, and they were anxious to see if the brook trout were biting. They weren't; at least not on bacon fat.

They walked away from video games for this. Imagine that.

Next, Attitude and I walked around the horse pasture across the creek. Mr. Attitude enjoyed running so Drifter, our one year old filly, would start running with him.


After our walk, which we both enjoyed immensely, I attempted to get a little work done in the garden. I planted spinach, lettuce and other greens, but there was Calvin with his baseball bat and ball, and then Calvin with his fishing pole, asking if we could go out fishing some more. Guess who won. The verdict: Trout in Sand Creek don't bite on bacon. Searching Ebay for a fly rod.

It was a day of letting go, of letting my kids lead me, of being in the moment. It was the sort of day the first REAL day of spring in Minnesota should be. I am hearing frogs tonight, and it is beautiful.

woo-hoo! Rare yard bird alert!

I have a female black-backed woodpecker in the woods near my house! Sorry, no photo, at least not yet. She's fairly tolerant of human activity, but as soon as I get my camera out she hides behind a tree.

Black backed woodpeckers are a species of boreal spruce forests. Sand Creek is at about the southern limit of their usual range. They forage for insects under tree bark by picking off the outer layer of bark, which is why I thought these tamaracks may have been visited by one. When we first moved here, I saw a male black backed woodpecker in our dead spruce by the house. I thought I saw one last fall, but I wasn't sure.

I saw the female this morning as I was walking up the path to the cabin, having had to park my car out front due to the mud factor. I heard a tapping, and scanned the pines for what I thought was probably a hairy woodpecker. Then I looked down and found it on a large white pine bough that had fallen about a year ago. I just happened to have the binoculars in my hands (how often does that happen?) and it gave me a good chance to look before it flew up into a nearby pine. I knew immediately it wasn't a Hairy, because its back was solid, glossy black.

This is the fallen bough, which has had much of its bark picked off. This woodpecker has been around a while! I am hoping there's a male lurking somewhere nearby.

can I indulge in some melancholy?

Yes, I'm feeling that way tonight. It was a beautiful day, springlike, perhaps convincing me that the second coming of spring was going to be the real thing. I saw a bluebird, and lots of kestrels.

But yet, there was this un-right feeling. Perhaps it was from taking Mr. Attitude to kindergarten roundup today, and finding a group of mostly apathetic parents. Who mostly looked under 25. I didn't make any spontaneous friends there. Sigh.

I like a lot of the teachers at the school, that is, until fourth grade. A kindergarten teacher, who had had Starflower in her class, remarked to me: "He's really sure of himself, isn't he!" Yep. That's my Attitude. But all I see is negativity from Calvin's fourth grade teacher. Punish him for his weaknesses, don't acknowledge his strengths. The "weaknesses", by the way, are a few late assignments. It makes me want to take him out of school altogether. I feel like I'm seeing his enthusiasm for school being drained, right before my eyes. Homeschool comes to mind, a lot. I am secretly hoping there are some fifth grade teachers who care. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure Starflower does not end up with this nattering nabob of negativity for a fourth grade teacher. My kids deserve better.

Fun with school registration forms

Mr. Attitude has "Kindergarten Roundup" tomorrow afternoon, where next fall's kindergarten class gets to see the classroom, meet the teachers, and get evaluated for readiness. Mr. Attitude of course has already been to the school many times for Calvin and Starflower's conferences and activities, so he knows the ropes, and I think the teachers already know him.

Accompanying this event, of course, is a pile of paperwork which I am completing right now. Some of it is mandated by the state: what language do you speak at home (I'm thinking of writing in "Saami and Gaelic"), what nationality/race/ethnic background the child is (do you want the full or abbreviated pedigree?), etc.

The pink form in front of me right now is called the "Kindergarten Readiness Checklist", which puzzles me because nothing on the entire first side has anything to do with readiness. It asks for basic info such as address, birthdate, then an ominous bold headline reads: "THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS NEEDED TO PUT ON YOUR CHILD'S PERMANENT RECORD" ("child's permanent record" underlined for added emphasis). Wow. Serious stuff. THE PERMANENT RECORD. I remember being too afraid to speak up in class because every time I was wrong it might go on My Permanent Record.

Anyway, here's the stuff they are requesting for THE PERMANENT RECORD, and some of the responses I'm tempted to fill in.

Parents' nationality: Father Samoan, Mother Laplander

Parents' health: I'm tempted to go into excessive detail...actually I'm leaving it blank. None of their business.

Parents' denomination: tens and twenties? Really, are they prohibited from writing the word "religious" on the form to clarify the question a bit? Another blank. I'm not even sure myself.

Parents' occupation: Occupied.

Business address and phone: I don't work for a business, I work for the State.

Marital status: They have blanks for both "Married" and "Living together". If we're married and living together, are we required to check both blanks?

Brothers and sisters: name, sex,age, birth date, and birthplace... Okay, I can understand name, sex and age. But why would their birthplaces need to be on Mr. Attitude's PERMANENT RECORD?

Members of household other than parents and siblings: Name: Sally Sex: Female Age: 1 Position in household: Dog, often curled up on the bed.

Dwelling: They didn't have a category for "undersize cabin".

Do you live on a farm? This one actually made me think. I wrote yes.

Does your child have a room of his/her own? Yes. under construction. If not, shared with whom? 4 family members, two dogs, two to three cats, etc.

Special interests or hobbies: Bidding on eBay items from sellers in the UK. Watching "The Big Lebowski".

A few more basics, then: Is your child extremely shy or quiet?

HA!

just ask any employee of any store he's been in with his dad. :)

What types of control are most frequently used? Mostly remote and Game Cube. Oh, you mean behavior control? You mean I'm supposed to CONTROL my child, as if he were a TV or Game Cube? I prefer unconditional love, respect, and openness myself. But I've been known to yell sometimes.

And, finally after a couple mundane health-related questions: Is there anything special that you would like the kindergarten teacher to know about your child?

Yes. I love him. Even when he drives me nuts. Good luck, and remember I'm trusting you with the most important person in the world.

happy easter!

You know it's springtime in Minnesotarctica when...

• one day it's short sleeve weather, the next it's parka weather.
• the wind chill factor is still a factor in May.
• you find Canada geese turning around and heading south again when the ponds re-freeze.
• you never know from day to day if you can keep the beer chilled on the outside step, or have to put it in the fridge or a cooler, or bring it inside before it freezes.
• it's sunny and 25 degrees outside, but the sunlight is so strong it melts ice and snow.
• you see pictures of ice-covered crocuses in the newspaper. Really.
• you're almost ready to put the winter boots away, but you follow you gut instinct and leave them out. Later you're glad you trusted your inner polar bear.
• your coworkers set nets in the little open water on a lake to get the northern pike run, and end up chiseling them out of ice.
• roads are covered with snow, but the frost boils still hold pockets of unfrozen water.
• you take a chance and wash your car when the worst of mud season appears to be over, and it snows a foot the next day.

This second winter we're experiencing is a cruel, cruel joke.

disapproving robins

"I knew we should have stayed in Florida another week or two!"

We've had close to a foot of snow here in the last 24 hours. I know. Dreadful. The roads are the worst; a little slush on top, combined with those jerks who would tailgate me when I am doing my best to drive safely.

These robins were just a small part of the many birds at the feeder today; dark eyed juncos were the most abundant, also fox sparrows, house finches, cardinals, and an occasional red bellied woodpecker. This is April in Minnesota!

Puzzler: Who was here?

While on my way back from the magical trout stream bedrock outcrop, I saw the above scene. I apologize for the picture quality, although it shows what i wanted it to show.

Notice the gray bark on most of the tamaracks, and the bright reddish brown bark on some of them. The question is, who did that?

A hint: they like woody habitat.

hidden creek

After a rainy weekend spent indoors with the kids, not to mention a broken GameCube (We're getting it fixed, but meanwhile The Hermit found a standby on Ebay for $25), I needed to get out. Yes, earlier I had made it walking as far as the pond, but this little cat named Ms. Otto kept following me, and I didn't want to get too close to the neighbors across the road and find out what they were really discussing outside this afternoon. So I had to escape through muddy driveway and muddy roads with our van, for just a little break.

The van didn't have much gas, so I didn't venture out too far, just along a dead end road that goes to the east less than a mile north of here. I was hoping to see a raptor or two, or some other signs of spring. I drove up the road, noticing the torrent of water flowing where last year I was walking over wet rocks but still seeing brook trout.

I drove up close to the end, then turned around in a driveway. Driving back, I decided to stop at a small area that has intrigued me. There is a bedrock outcrop there, and a small road flag on the north side of the road warns of the danger, if there is one. I pulled the van to the side of the road, turned the engine off, and got out.

The ground was saturated with the recent rainfall, but it was not too much. After all, on a bedrock outcrop, there's not going to be too much mud! I heard the rushing of water, hidden in a deep crevice below. As I approached the sound, I saw bright green.

The moss and lichens show that there is no topsoil here. But they are doing thier best to take care of that situation, dissolving rock and dying and building up an organic layer.












Not too far off the road, I came to a steep ledge, and there was the stream rushing below. In this particular area, it looked like it cut through a break in the bedrock. The banks at one point were about twenty feet high. I felt as if I had stumbled upon a magical place, a geological oddity in this land where flat shrub swamps are the rule.

This picture hardly gives it justice; the undergrowth got in the way. I was standing on a high, narrow ridge of rock.

I had not seen this creek in this area before. I had always seen it as a little roadside ditch. But now I understand I was only seeing part of the picture along the continuum.


This part of the stream looks very trouty. Given the bedrock, there are likely spring seeps that keep the stream temperature cool in summer. Good shade here too.



So that was my surprise blessing for the day. I also heard my first ruffed grouse drumming this year, as I was walking back from that spot along the creek.


Earlier, I was in the cookshed doing something (or possibly escaping) when Mr. Attitude came running in. "Mom, what kind of birds go woo-woo?"

"That could be swans!" I was out the door. Just in time to see a flock of tundra swans flying low, right over the house. Woo-woo. This is so awesome.


Totally unrelated, tonight we watched the movie "Borat". It is hilarious. Tears of laughter at some points. Highly recommended.

catdog

These two were getting pretty friendly this afternoon. Poor Blue Flame has a cold, so his eyes are a bit puffed up right now.

They knew what to do. Today was cold and rainy, and I made it as far as the cook shed. I washed dishes, a two hour task around here, and tried my best to straighten up the house. I estimate I reunited over 50 DVD's and Game Cube games with their cases.

I know, we need the rain, but the yard is looking pretty dismal right now.

state park sightings

In case you haven't heard, Minnesota has one of the best state park systems in the nation. I am fortunate to have four state parks within an hour's drive of home. The biggest one in the state is directly south of here, about twenty miles; in fact, the park entrance road is built along the same old logging railroad grade that runs through our property.

Today I had the opportunity to spend the day at that park, although unfortunately it was mostly indoors. I was asked to be on an interview panel for some entry-level park manager positions, so I spent the day intimidating young career aspirants. I was the only one on the panel that was not working directly for parks; they like to have someone from an outside discipline come in, and I think maybe they are required to have a non Caucasian or a female on the panel. So I've been asked to do this a couple of times. I enjoy it; it's interesting to see how different individuals react to the stressful interview process, and I like meeting natural resources folks outside of Fisheries. There may be a networking plan for career shift here. Or not. It doesn't hurt to meet people.

I had about 45 spare minutes at lunch time, during which I took a walk. I mean, no-brainer, the park has miles and miles of hiking trails and I'm going to sit indoors during lunch? I wandered down a road until I found a paved bike trail, then followed it for a while. I heard a phoebe, then heard, then saw a migrating flock of tundra swans. Then, after I had reluctantly turned around, I heard a screeching from above. I looked up to see four bald eagles, riding the thermals and leisurely migrating northward. Two of the eagles were obviously a pair; they were the ones calling to each other, and they followed each other closely in flight. I watched them until they disappeared from sight. Not a bad walk.

More interviews tomorrow. This time I will drive there straight from home, following some out of the way dirt roads. The best kind.

more spring birds, pond activity, frogs, and mud

This time of year I just keep adding birds to the list. Today it was fox sparrow and Eastern phoebe. The Hermit saw purple finches at the feeder here, which would be another new addition if I had been around to see them.

I got an email mid afternoon from The Hermit, saying he and the kids and the dogs were headed out to the pond. Afternoon temps here hit 68, which felt really, really warm. There was still a considerable sheet of ice on the pond, but I guess Sally made the best of the open water. Hopi was a bit more reluctant; she cannot understand the affinity her mentor dog has with water. What can I say, Labs are superior that way; heck they are the superior breed. Starflower was in her bikini when I arrived home. She said that she had been in the water a little, but it was still cold.

I took Togo for a walk after I came home, and one unique thing I heard was a barred owl calling in broad daylight. I also heard the first of the Western chorus frogs, sounding a little slow and groggy but nevertheless heeding the call of Spring.

And mud. It is everywhere, a fact of life, but this warm weather has it disappearing fast. The ground has thawed enough so water percolates downward. I hope to be able to drive my car back to the house in a couple days.

March is a great time

Despite the mud everywhere and the standing puddles of water and the detritus that the melting snow reveals about what happened last winter, March is a wonderful time. The transformation that happens here, in just a matter of a week or so, is amazing. Perhaps if you live in warmer climes, you experience seasonal change over a more gradual period. But here it's BAM! Spring's here!

New year birds for today are: great blue heron, mallard, turkey vulture, Eastern bluebird, some blackbird (either Brewer's or Rusty, but not a grackle!--update, I am pretty confident now they were Brewer's), ring necked duck, and...woodcock. That first peent I heard at twilight, and the twittering that followed as he ascended into the sky in circles, was pure music.

I attended a bridal shower today, at my aunt and uncle's lake place where I spent some wonderful times growing up. The bride is a first timer, at age...well, I think she was the same age as my mom, they were really close as cousins growing up. 60 or so, although she doesn't look a day over 45. I'm happy for her and her husband-to-be! I had a good time talking with some second cousins I haven't seen in way too long.

spring birds

The soundscape in my yard changed literally overnight as scores of Dark-eyed juncos made their appearance. A single junco's call is not memorable, and I had forgotten what they sounded like, but a whole flock of them makes a twittering symphony. Added to it was the insistent peeping of red breasted nuthatches and the chatter of chickadees. The raucous cries of crows and Canada geese echoed through the air, and the rattling bugle of the sandhill cranes added to the chorus.

I had the chance to see a few other new birds for the year as I made an emergency trip to Wal Mart with the kids. Around here, a broken Game Cube connector cable almost warrants a 911 call. I had planned to spend the whole day cleaning house, and it was nice enough that the kids could play outside, not playing video games all day, but I knew come evening my parental ratings would suffer if I didn't do something. Besides, The Hermit, usual Wal-Mart runner here, was across the state for business. So we made the forty mile trip, and along the way I saw a tree swallow, common grackle, and ring billed gull, all new spring arrivals. I also saw three eagles and numerous hawks, probably red tails, but I couldn't tell for sure. I wonder how much getting glasses will improve my drive-by birding.

There was an American tree sparrow among the dark eyed juncos, so I saw a total of four new "year birds" yesterday. I was hoping to see a bluebird, and I scanned fence posts and wires in all the likely areas, but no luck yet.

Spring is officially here!

On the way to work I saw my first male red winged blackbird of the season. And when I got out of my car at work, I heard a robin calling!

Edited later: I went for a walk at lunch time and saw a flock of robins, so that's confirmed. I also saw a dark eyed junco on the ground by the bird feeder at work; although they are very common around here in the spring, this is a year first for me. The Hermit called and said the sandhill cranes were calling at our place this morning, although I did not get to see or hear them when I came home. I took Togo for a walk, and we ended up walking along the north side of the creek by the horse pasture, and I think I saw some red winged blackbirds there. Didn't have binoculars with me though, and I don't have my glasses yet. :)

it's seed time

I just added up how much I've spent on seeds and gardening supplies so far this year, and...well, this is an experimental year. I'm still trying to see what will grow best here, and this year I have the added challenge of growing for a farmers market. That said...$150 on seeds (and seed potatoes) and shipping and handling? That's not counting the book I purchased on Native American gathered foods, or the T-shirt from my favorite seed company; those extras in the seed catalogs are quite appealing, you know!

I probably have enough seed to last several years now, especially if I save some from this year's crop. When I ordered seeds, I had forgotten that The Hermit had placed a considerable seed order with Peaceful Valley Farm Supply last fall, to build up a sort of "when the shit hits the fan" seed stash. All good, but I wish I would have found the seed stash before I placed a huge order Sunday morning.

That huge order was with Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds, and I received that order today, four days after I placed it, complete with T-shirt. I must say, that is about the best service I've ever had from any seed company. I highly recommend them, and I admire what they are doing to find and preserve heirloom seed varieties. I will wear that shirt at the farmers market this summer.

I also have tomato seeds planted now, in addition to the peppers I did last week. My dad asked me if it wasn't a bit early, but they say 6-8 weeks before last frost. 8 weeks puts us into mid May, which shouldn't be too early in my hoop house beds. Varieties planted include: Brandywine, Amish Paste, Grandma Mary's Paste, Stupice, Yellow Pear, Black Cherry, Burbank, Ropreco Paste, and...I can't remember right now. But you can see I don't go half way with tomatoes. :)

Bird update: First killdeer heard today, on school grounds. Sandhill cranes reported nearby, but I have not seen or heard any...yet.

The other tomatoes I planted were: Siletz, Maskabec, Beaverlodge plum, and Beaverlodge slicer (both extra-early varieties). The peppers are: Alma paprika, Hot Portugal, King of the North, Wisconsin Lakes, early jalapeno, and serrano. Some of the tomatoes have sprouted as of this morning (Friday, 3/23)!

today I am 40

...and I don't feel any different. :)

We had king crab legs, shrimp, and roasted asparagus for dinner. Not much in the way of local dining, but IT WAS GOOD! :)

And, I did see a female harrier at one place, male harrier at another, on the way home. The male practically flew into my windshield. Harriers are, I think, the most flight-gifted birds in the world. I also saw an immature bald eagle and a flock of about 12 wild turkeys near my home.

the joys of country life

We were awakened at 4:30 yesterday morning by the sound of Hopi growling from the foot of Starflower's bed, which she has claimed as her sleeping spot. Her growls turned to barks; prior to this I didn't think she even knew how to bark. Sally, usually the more vigilant watchdog, who sleeps at the foot of our bed, often on top of my legs, gave a slight growl but must have been satisfied that Hopi did an adequate job of alarm barking, because she fell asleep again.

The Hermit turned on the back light to reveal a herd of cattle, probably seven of them, meandering around the back yard, licking grease from the bottom of the grill, looking for any other sources of food. He went outside and chased them away; eventually they ended up back at the neighbors' on their own.

Our neighbors across the road keep a small herd of cattle on their too-small pasture, and their fences are notoriously unreliable. One day a few years ago we found a newborn calf abandoned in the woods near our house. We get cows coming over to our place a few times a year, sometimes eating our animal feed and leaving piles of free fertilizer everywhere. The neighbors are always apologetic, but they just don't get it. Part of being a good neighbor around here is keeping your animals where they belong. Although these folks can be hard workers at times, they just don't have the reasoning ability and common sense it takes to be good farmers and neighbors. They also don't have enough income from their disability checks to invest in some fencing, and their sister who lives up the road, who owns the cattle, won't even bother to give one of them a ride to the doctor's in Duluth.

We put up with it; they could be worse, at least they're not running a meth lab or anything. And their place is close enough to the road, and the sight of a grown man riding a bicycle in circles in the driveway likely makes anyone think twice about intruding into our place.

On the wild side, the kids and I saw a pair of fishers, an uncommon sight, running across the road just south of our place. Fishers are probably the porcupine's only natural predator.

kestrel dances

The kestrels are back, and I thank Starflower's friend Ada for giving me the opportunity to see them. Ada invited Starflower to meet her at the school pool for open swimming, so I drove her there. It was then I first saw the kestrels; how could anyone miss them, with their strong, agile flight.

Kestrels have a thing for open farmland; there are certain areas along the road to town where I can almost be certain of seeing them in the summer. I usually don't see them at home. As we were driving to the school I saw no fewer than four kestrels, all perched on wires then rapidly flying away as we approached in the van.

When I wasn't taking Starflower swimming, I was setting up a new shelf in the cook shed and getting my seed starting equipment ready. I have two heat mats made for seedlings, which I found out work nicely for finishing venison jerky when I need the oven for chocolate chip cookies. :)

I feel good...really good

On Tuesday, I will magically switch decades in my life, with the ticking of a clock move from one stage of life to another, or so they say. I don't really think our lives are arranged in decades, but popular thought seems to tend otherwise.

In a way, I can't wait to leave my thirties behind me. Looking back, it was a decade of spinning wheels, indecision, and wasted time. Okay, so I had all three of my children in my thirties. They are the best blessing anyone could have, but so much else was going on that they didn't get the perfect, planned childhood I had dreamed of. Life gets in the way.

For one thing, we moved. A lot. From Minnesota to Missouri back to northwestern Minnesota, to my old neighborhood in suburban Minnesota to a remote valley in northern California, to here, but almost back to California. To here, finally, the place where my dreams live. I'm going to move away from the new house when they drag my cold, stiff body out of it.

I realize now I was depressed a lot in my thirties. Not suicidal depressed, (okay, maybe once, but luckily I was too chicken to cut my own flesh) but just not into living. And that's a terrible thing to give your children.

I have not felt depressed for a long time. Today the sun was shining, and while I was washing dishes Calvin asked if I would come outside and play lacrosse with him. My stepdaughter had just given him a lacrosse set, two netted sticks and a plastic ball. So I did, and he had me going into the woods fetching the ball far too many times, but we had fun. Spontaneous, outdoor fun. I could not have done that three years ago. Or maybe two. Or one.

Then, after I got the dishes done, I felt like a little walk in the woods. It was there that I saw the spores of the cinnamon ferns, pictured above, standing over the snow. It doesn't take a lot of effort to find something here that really moves me.

So it is coming up on spring, I am going to move into my dream house this summer, I am going to have my best garden ever, and even sell at the farmers market and play music there. Who could ask for anything more?

wascal wabbits

I got home early today, because Starflower had a music program at school at 1:30, and by the time it was over there was no point in going back to work. Anyway, my stepdaughter Sarah was here for spring break (she's a graduate student at Nebraska) and we made her a good steak dinner.

I did get home early enough, before dinner started, to take Togo for a walk and even to check out my garden. I saw maybe one lettuce sprout where I planted last week. There's still hope.

But then I walked over in the snow to check our apple trees we planted last year. Unfortunately, most of them have been nibbled on by rabbits, maybe even girdled. Arrrgghhh.

eyes

I went for an eye appointment today. I have gone without corrective lenses for 39 years, but I thought I should at least get my eye health checked before I suddenly found myself among the middle aged.

The verdict: While it is not legally necessary for me to wear corrective lenses for any function of life, I was impressed with how my far-sight vision has decreased through the years. I just might get a pair of glasses for driving, bird watching, looking out over an audience...anyway, wishful thinking aside, anything that might require me to look out over a distance. Oh, middle age. I embrace thee. I think.

Farmer's Market meeting

I attended a meeting of the Sandstone Area Farmer's Market tonight. Last year I was toying with the idea of growing extra vegetables and participating in the market, but that kind of fell by the wayside. This year, however, I have extra encouragement to join the market; it turns out one of the main organizers is an old coworker and friend of The Hermit's with whom we recently reconnected. She and her husband live within ten miles of us now, and The Hermit happened to find out through a local work contact. Sometimes it seems this county is a last outpost for those like us who seek to leave the city life.

There were maybe twenty or more people in attendance, a good assortment of veteran farmers and hobby gardeners, all who like the idea of providing fresh local produce. I'm beginning to think that, with the passion I have for gardening and producing our own food, perhaps I should not be so stingy with the results. I can preach my gospel best if I actually get out and sell some vegetables, and let people know why I'm there. Plus, the vendors returning from last year all said it was a lot of fun. So, I'm planning on it.

I also may be instrumental (pardon the pun) in getting some music performance together as a regular feature of the market. When we briefly lived in Northern California, the little market we went to on Saturdays, which had fewer vendors than the Sandstone market, had a tradition of acoustic music jams. I think live, traditionally-inspired music adds a lot to a farmer's market experience, and everyone at the meeting seemed very interested when I mentioned I played a little.

This, on top of everything else on my plate right now. But this could be fun...:)

warming, thawing, planting

After being snowed in last weekend, and confronting below zero temperatures several mornings this week, we are finally having some nice spring-like weather. High temps were in the forties both Saturday and today; that's T-shirt and Birkenstock weather for us Minnesotarcticans. It's been nice enough that I have resumed taking morning walks with Togo, the husky. I really enjoy getting out there in the fresh air, smelling the thawing earth, seeing the blue sky, and hearing the quiet that is all around. There are a few snowmobilers out, trying to make the most of last week's snow, but for the most part it's quiet here. Sand Creek is open and flowing.

This weather even gave me the urge to make my earliest-ever planting. I have one raised bed I covered with plastic over PVC hoops last fall, hoping to overwinter some greens. That didn't quite happen, but the plastic survived the winds of winter and when I checked, the top two inches of soil were thawed and workable. Even though I had to walk over snowdrifts to get the the bed, I planted spinach, kale, lettuce, and cilantro.

I also did my first indoor plantings of six kinds of peppers, and some chives. It's nice to walk into the cook shed and smell dirt. Good dirt.

St. Peter does WHAT?

In light of recent events, the kids have been asking some thoughtful questions about death and the afterlife. It seems most comforting to me to imagine Puffball in some kind of a cat heaven, complete with catnip bushes and bottomless food bowls and sunny windows with a bird feeder view.

How cats interact in this heaven, however, and just what they take with them of their physical bodies, has been a topic of discussion. Today at breakfast the kids were asking if Puffball would get to meet Lilith. "Lilith was a female, right?"

"Yes."

"Was she spayed?"

"Yes."

"When cats go to heaven, do they get their parts back?"

"Yes", Calvin answers. "There's this guy dressed in white standing at the gate there that gives them back their testicles and stuff."

Ahh, grief mixed with a healthy dose of humor.

goodbye is never easy

Especially when it comes so fast, and unexpectedly. AND, edited to say, when your cat is not even two years old.

We lost a good house cat today. As I detailed in the previous post, I woke at 5 AM to see him on the floor writhing in agony, three of his legs paralyzed. I was frightened and confused; he had been just fine the night before. Mr. Attitude and I were sitting on the couch reading books together, and Puffball was stretched out next to us, perfectly content. I commented how he looked like roadkill. I now regret that statement.

I called the local veterinarian and left a message. She called back a few minutes later; I described the symptoms, and she said it sounded like a blood clot where his main artery splits to his hind legs. She said to bring him in when her office opened; it was a serious condition but there was no immediate emergency treatment that could be done, except maybe give him a quarter of an aspirin if we had any. We didn't, not that it would have mattered.

I brought him into the living room where it was warmer, then later put him into a box lined with bath towels. By that time, his hind legs were stiff and cold, and he was unresponsive.

A quick check at the vet's confirmed the worst. The vet said she's never seen a cat survive that condition for any length of time. I tearfully consented to euthanasia. Watching him die was actually more peaceful than helplessly watching him suffer at home.

When the ground thaws, he will be buried alongside Lady and Annie, the dogs, Lilith the cat, and Topper the horse. We're getting way too much of a pet cemetery going here.

I sure miss him.

Puffball's genetic material lives on, however, in his son Blue Flame. Blue, because his eyes are the most gorgeous sky blue I've ever seen in a cat, and Flame, because he is a flame point Siamese. I have a feeling he will be a specially spoiled cat these next few days.

this is not going to be a good day

I woke up at 5 am to the sound of one of the cats out in the porch. It was an odd, howling sort of meow, something I'd never heard before. I went out to find Puffball writhing around on the floor, panting heavily,and howling. He appeared to be partially paralyzed. I called the vet, left a message, and she called back. She said it sounded like a blood clot, and the prognosis wasn't good.

I'm bringing him in at 8, but I'm expecting the worst.

I have way too many cats outside that I want to get rid of.

WHY?

coming out of the chrysalis

I think a recent post on Madcapmum's blog, and the subsequent comments, have said it well: A lot of us bloggers, especially in the northern climes, seem to be wrapped in a cocoon, waiting to be drawn out again. I feel it. I am looking forward to spring, knowing we are at the point that if winter comes at us with a vengeance, at least it will be at most a temporary thing.

I was looking at Floridacracker's blog today, envying his sightings of ducks in a bay along the Gulf Coast. Then I realized: There's not much about the weather at this time of year in Minnesota that draws us outside, to gaze on the wonders of nature out there. Cause frankly, there ain't much. Frozen lakes, frozen rivers, frozen forests so frozen that you wonder how they'll know when it's spring. Frozen hearts, frozen so hard you don't know if they're broken or just like the ice on the big lake or whatever. Maybe they'll thaw come spring.

That was my songwriter muse coming thru there; don't you dare repeat it!

Anyway, life seems to be on hold here until daytime temps average above freezing...will try to blog, but the blood to my brain feels like sludge...

It's dark. Though we see the light increasing at the end of the day, it's DARK.

Winter survival in the cook shed

How many straight hours can one listen to the sound of video games being played, of kids arguing about video games, and of kids giving up on video games to watch a "King of the Hill" marathon? All within about 500 square feet of living space?

Yes, those are Christmas lights still up in March, and those are real icicles hanging from the lights. Actually I prefer to call them "winter cheer" lights, because I never intended to take them down until day lengths got back to a reasonable amount. Around the equinox, that is.

I'm not saying the kids didn't get out to enjoy some fresh air once in a while. Starflower especially seemed to enjoy the snowdrifts. But my philosophy on outdoor recreation has evolved to the point where, while I encourage it, I don't want to nag the kids to drag their butts outside for a while. That would leave them with the sense that playing outdoors is just a chore, something to appease Mom. They eventually find their way outside on their own. Unfortunately, I think the pond skating season is over for the year so that won't be an option. Even if I did get out there with the snowblower (not the shovel; I think I'm still hurting from the last time I cleared a mere three inches of powdery stuff off the ice!) I would probably find that the weight of the snow has caused water to seep up around the edges and cracks in the ice, forming a layer of slush. Oh well, I did rediscover how to do the waltz jump this year, and the kids improved greatly.

Funny thing, when the big snow hit and I found myself facing an extended weekend at home, I fancied myself making all kinds of culinary creations in the cook shed. It would not have anything to do with escaping the constant barrage of electronic noise, now, would it? Not a bit, I tell you. I only found the time to make:

• rye bread


• bread crumbs from old rye bread


• Italian meatballs using the bread crumbs


• spaghetti and meatballs


• teriyaki sauce (for marinating meat, stir fry, etc)


• chocolate chip cookies (gone in 1.5 days, I didn't eat any)


• oatmeal cranberry raisin cookies (now these I could get into)


• pot roast


• beef stew from leftover pot roast


• whole wheat flour tortillas


• venison jerky


• pickled northern pike

Note the hyperlinks on the last two items. I also found the time to resurrect a blog I started in September, which I haven't really been paying attention to. Every so often when I do a food post, I plan on posting the recipe there, as well as some of my musings on trying to be a homemaker while living the reality of holding a full time job outside the home.

That's the intention, anyway.

(clockwise from upper left: pickled northern pike, oatmeal cranberry raisin cookies, venison jerky, tortillas)

digging out

This is why I'm not at work today. They closed state offices in the county to the north, but apparently they thought 20+ inches of snow in this county just wasn't enough. Here's the view up the driveway.

It's a good thing the snowblower started.
Remember "The Coneheads" from Saturday Night Live? The bird feeder reminds me of them. Note the chickadee in flight.

blizzard kids

Someone tells me their names are Love girl and Star Ranger. One of them is now sleeping soundly on the couch (woke up too early.) I am betting they won't have school tomorrow. The wind is howling and the snow is blowing.

Edited: it is official. No. School. Friday. ! Woo Hoo!

march came in like a lion

At 6:15 this morning, an unprecedented hour for them, the kids woke up. "Let's get ready and ride the bus this morning!" This was highly unusual. I usually have trouble getting them out the door at 7:40 AM.

However, I then heard The Hermit say "We'd better see if they're having school today!" He turned on the TV, and of course there was a long list of school closings. Our district was among them. Strangely, the kids did not go back to bed. They were too excited at the prospect of a snow day.

Work was not cancelled for me for the day, however after weighing the risks of the 30 mile commute against the benefits of me showing up (I'm in the process of updating our area office web site, which is nice but not essential) I stayed home. It turned out to be a wise decision; this morning we've had periods of snow so heavy you can hardly see, plus high winds piling up drifts everywhere. It would have been a risky commute home.

Instead, somehow the cooking instinct kicked in. I went out to the cook shed after breakfast and cleaned things up. Then I put a rye bread in the bread machine, put some old bread in the oven to dry for bread crumbs, made teriyaki sauce, put a roast in the slow cooker for dinner, got some venison steaks out to thaw, which I will make into jerky later, and there are two sticks of butter softening on top of the stove for a batch of chocolate chip cookies later.


And this is how we ride out a blizzard here in Minnesota. It's as good a time as any to sample the home brew (Belgian Witbier on the left, delicious, Three Hearted Ale on the right, delicious, both kits from Northern Brewer). The cheese is tomato basil Gouda from a farm about thirty miles away.

Another blizzard survival tip: Finding the Pokemon Colosseum video game disc, which has been missing for about a month, will keep kids occupied for the whole day. (That is, me finding the disc in a pile of other stuff. ) That, and a Jetsons DVD. Next up: King of the Hill, our new favorite diversion. No, we're not running outside to pile up on a snowdrift. We have seasons 1 and 3 on DVD.

I'm kind of liking this. Maybe school will be cancelled tomorrow too!

What I've really been thinking about lately

My catch phrase for everything these days is "When we get into the new house..." For example: "Starflower, you'll be able to have a friend sleep over without infringing on Mom and Dad's privacy." As if we have any. And I tell myself: "You'll have a place to play music, do yoga, even umm...have some fun with your spouse!"

It all hinges on that. Living in small quarters with children (not to mention dogs) without indoor plumbing has got to be one of the most chronically stressful situations I have encountered. College dorm life seems comparatively attractive. I feel like I'm about ready to lose it more often than I care to admit. We need that space!

But, since that has been the situation for four years and counting, I have found other things to divert my attention. I have, I've decided, been overly obsessed with my health. True, I have gained more weight that I would like to these last few years, but I find myself obsessing over every little ache, taking more supplements than I probably need, spending hours on the Web reading what is mostly nonsense.

But can a woman who is as hopelessly out of shape as I keep tellimg myself I am, hop into the pool and swim forty laps in an hour after years of non-swimming? And even push myself into interval training? And meticulously avoid refined sugars, trans fats and high fructose corn syrup, the Evil Trinity of the modern diet?

Maybe I have more inner strength than I give myself credit for.

There's more. But it's late.

Return of The Thinking Deb

Okay, you've probably been wondering what happened to her. Deb's brain seems to have been on autopilot as of late, producing a post here and there, but nothing too substantial. It's still there, far as I can tell, but it seems to be on hiatus lately. I mean, it was a mental struggle to write about the last snowfall. I was tempted to just post a picture, write "we got snow", and leave it at that. Pretty lame.

February in Minnesota does that to a person. As Dar Williams puts it in her song "February", :

first we forgot where we planted those bulbs last year
and then we forgot that we planted at all
then we forgot what plants are altogether
and I blamed you for my freezing and forgetting..

But the first smell of partially thawed ground last week stirred something in me, that is, before the foot of snow covered it up. So did the sound of Canada geese, which I'm wondering wasn't just a dream. We haven't heard them since. In a month, they will definitely be a presence, as well as red winged blackbirds and robins. And I will celebrate a milestone birthday on the equinox.

A lot to think about there. I think my mind will awaken from hibernation. I hope.

a typical Minnesota morning

Looks like I won't be going anywhere soon.

Finally, after over a month of looking at the same dirty crust of snow, we had some decent snowfall overnight. We got about eight inches; further south the total was a foot or more. Combined with strong east winds, snow piled up in drifts up to 3 feet high. I think it's beautiful, but then again I'm not the one out there clearing our long driveway with the snowblower.

The heavy snow began yesterday afternoon, while we were at the pool for our usual Saturday afternoon swim. We almost had the place to ourselves; others must not have wanted to venture out on the roads. I don't know who had the most fun, the kids and three of their friends or me. It felt so good being in the water; I had a great time splashing around, giving Mr. Attitude piggy back rides across the pool, diving off the board, and just floating in the deep end.

After swimming I had to drop kids off. Two of the friends live just a half mile up the road, but the other one, at whose house Calvin was spending the night, is about ten miles away on gravel roads. By then we had maybe three inches of snow and I had to shift into winter driving mode. Driving on snow-covered roads really isn't that difficult if you just take it slow. The difficult part comes when you encounter other drivers who don't remember to take it slow. Luckily I pretty much had the roads to myself.

So today it looks like I'll be at home. I have plenty of jobs to keep me busy out in the cookshed.

The latest "Attitude-ism"

Mr. Attitude has been watching episodes of "Rawhide" and Clint Eastwood movies with The Hermit lately. So, with that setup, it should come as no surprise that his latest line is:

"Did someone say .45?"

At which time he brandishes his toy pistol, if available.

At Gander Mountain, the big chain sporting goods store, he walked up to the gun counter and said:

I need to see a 45. Come on, I don't got all day!

That's my son.

blog remodeling

I'm finally going to try the new Blogger template editing features today, so things may look strange for a while. I have a copy of the old template saved, just in case things get ugly.

Snow and freezing drizzle today.

UPDATE: Editing completed. Say what you want about the new Blogger, but I really enjoyed not having to be an html wizard to get this look. Now I'm labeling archive posts.

garden planning

I stayed home from work today recovering from a brief stomach flu bug that hit last night. I was feeling better but not well enough to sit through a meeting that was scheduled. I'm so disappointed! :) I was feeling well enough, however, to gather all my seed catalogs and sit by the table overlooking the bird feeder, and do some serious garden and seed order planning.

It is serious business. Face it, I've got perhaps forty more chances in this lifetime to grow a garden, and I intend to make the best use of the opportunity. Why grow a few industrial hybrid veggies distributed by a subsidiary of the most evil corporation known to humanity (ummm, I guess that would be pretty much all of them) when I can be subversive and grow heirlooms, choosing from an almost infinite number of varieties, even save my own seed if I find something that works well here?

The number one reason, perhaps, is time. With so many varieties to choose from, it takes some careful study to decide what is best for my area and my needs. Take for example tomatoes. I have a pitifully short, unpredictable growing season, and with rainfall it may be feast or famine. I am looking for something that will produce before August, a couple interesting cherry type tomatoes for snacking and possibly marketing, some productive paste varieties for salsa and canning, and some heavenly slicing varieties. So far my list stands at twenty varieties, several in each of the above categories. Most of them I have already, but I still feel the need to experiment and hopefully stumble on THE perfect variety.

In past years I have mostly confined my exacting selection process to tomatoes. However, this year I am giving each other vegetable careful thought. So far I'm growing three or four different kinds of carrots, several beans (both pole and bush), and I'm staying up nights debating the perfect pickling cucumber. Not to mention winter squashes (between my stash and what I want to order I could have eight or more types!) and peppers (which, fortunately I closed the book on; I already have an order of four varieties from Seed Savers Exchange, plus a stash of three).

This ain't just a hobby, however. This is food. This is life. This is pretty serious business. But it is a lot of fun, imagining and dreaming the possibilities.

While I was pondering the possibilities, the pine grosbeaks showed up promptly at 10:15, not more than two minutes after I thought to myself "the pine grosbeaks usually show up right about now." And, I won the bet from yesterday, I heard Canada geese this morning! Spring is not too far off now.

thawing earth and melting snow

We're getting an early, teasing taste of spring here for the last few days in Minnesota, with daytime highs nearing 40 (does the thermometer go that high? I forgot!) in some areas. Snow is melting, ice slicks are becoming slicker with meltwater on the surface, and mud is forming where the ground is bare but still frozen underneath. It's really not pretty to look at, especially when the skies are gray, it's a sign that winter is losing its grip.

I had a whiff of a road killed skunk yesterday, evidence that the longer days and weather have critters moving around. Togo and the horses are even starting to shed their winter coats.

Togo's wild relatives are on the move as well. The night before last I was jolted out of my sleep by the wild laughter of coyotes. They were closer than I've ever heard them, perhaps not a hundred yards from the house.

The Hermit, Calvin and I have a bet on which will show up first: Canada geese, red winged blackbirds, or sandhill cranes. My money's on the geese.

stuff going thru my mind

Where's the suet feeder? I went out to fill it this afternoon, since we have an abundance of suet in the freezer from the beef we bought, but when I got out to the old spruce tree the feeder was nowhere to be found. Apparently it was knocked down, by a cat or a red squirrel, and when the dogs were out they dragged it into the woods somewhere. I will try to improvise with an onion bag tomorrow until I can find something better.

I was in the new house today for a few minutes, dreaming and visualizing where stuff is going to be. It's hard to think too much when it's below freezing in there, but I do this just to keep sane. We're on track. It[s going to happen. And then I got to thinking about how my generation, and all subsequent ones, have been taught this instant gratification thing, that everything has to be completed all at once. But it's a given that, when we move in here the drywall won't all be up, the flooring will be the plywood that is there now, and there will be a lot of work to do. After three years living in a tiny cabin, I can deal with that. But about the indoor plumbing...let's put that on the fast track...

I made a soul-satisfying soup and caraway rye bread for dinner. Yes, I dragged the bread machine out from a long hiatus, and the results were wonderful. I think I could live on whole wheat caraway rye, with a little anise and fennel thrown in. I also transferred our Baltic Porter from the primary fermenting bucket, where it has been a little bit too long, to the glass carboy. The reason being, I've been trying to clean the carboy but every time I set it on its side on the floor of the cookshed, the water freezes. There's this crust of hops and yeast from the last beer (Belgian Witbier) on the shoulders of the carboy that would only go away by soaking, which meant I had to lay the carboy on its side in the cookshed. But when it's twenty below outside, everything on the floor of the cookshed freezes. But today I finally cleaned off the crust enough, but not completely. I sampled the beer as it went in, and all was well. Now I just have to get a case or two more bottles...

Calvin had a friend over today, and together they figured out how to hook up Sally and Togo for sled rides. Good for them, and good for the dogs, who really needed to get out and play. Now I need to look up some info on how to train dogs to run a straight line...

I have the day off tomorrow, President's Day holiday! My last Monday holiday for a few months. Maybe I'll spend some time giving this blog some overdue attention...

you asked for it!

fifteen years ago...

We said our vows in a small Lutheran church just outside of Minneapolis. It was a mild but gray day, typical February. The wedding was far from elaborate; handmade bridesmaids dresses and simple flower arrangements. A friend from college played flute solos before the service. I don't remember that much; it all went so quickly.

Next was the reception at an old worn-out Legion hall nearby. But we had given in to hiring a great caterer, and the menu was outstanding. Also, we had hired a musical duo we had listened to many times and liked, keyboards and guitar. They played slow music throughout dinner, but then after the tables cleared we broke into an impromptu wedding dance. We only had the hall until nine, no real dance planned, but we just went with the flow and had some memorable dances. Then we departed for our decorated Ford Escort wagon, and headed to downtown Minneapolis for our wedding night on the 13th floor overlooking downtown. Still fully clad in wedding attire, we went down to the bar and danced, celebrated. On your wedding night, people give a lot of free drinks!

The next day it was a long drive from Minneapolis up to the Canadian border, at a lodge we will never forget. Although we only were able to stay two nights for our honeymoon, that place will always stay with us. We cross country skiied, and enjoyed some fabulous meals in the dining room.

Fifteen years. Wow. Of course it hasn't been perfect, but we are now on the course of our dreams, and we have managed to endure many hardships...together. All things considered, I like being married, and The Hermit is probably the only man in the world who could put up with me for so long :) !

We celebrated tonight with a meal of grilled ocean scallops, crab stuffed mushroom caps, roasted asparagus, and boiled new potatoes. Too much of a feast for me!

catching up

I'll likely be out of the blogosphere the next few days; I'm attending our biennial statewide fisheries employees meeting. It's kind of nice to see what others are up to around the state, and there is talk of a music jam after hours...nuff said!

I took the day off work today, because Starflower had been running a fever all weekend and still wasn't up to going to school. Well, really, I wasn't feeling all that good myself. Sunday it was so balmy out I practically spent the day outside, first clearing a good amount of snow off the pond, then skating. I kept eyeing the snow I had left behind, but it would have been a lot of work for adding a few feet of width to the already ample skating area. As it turns out, I had already overtaxed my muscles to the point of severe day-after pain. But that wasn't all. While skating, I attempted to execute a two-foot spin, which I've done a zillion times; I'm even working on a one foot version now. But for some inexplicable reason, both my skates suddenly slid out to one side and I ended up crashing to the ice, with the full impact on my left hip. I immediately ascertained that I was okay, nothing broken, but I also knew that there was future pain to be felt. I was right. Amazingly, a lot of it was in my neck; apparently my neck muscles, in order to protect my head, contracted violently. They did the job, but I'm left with the after effects. This would have been nothing twenty years ago!

Dream mandala update: One more sighting last night. But I wonder if all my pondering of the first dream may have reinforced the image enough that it had a greater chance of showing up. I love that ten minutes or so when I'm waking up, trying to make sense of what I've seen internally.

The male pine grosbeak made a brief appearance again today, not nearly as long as I would have liked.

Ever notice how, as the days get longer, the twilight lingers for a longer time as well? When the sun sets on winter solstice, it is dark almost immediately. Now I can go out nearly an hour after sunset and still see a light in the western sky. The thermometer may not agree, but dark winter is losing its grip.

pine grosbeak

Just after breakfast this morning, during which I commented that, while I love chickadees, it would be nice to see something different for a change, this guy showed up.

Male pine grosbeaks have the most lovely rose-red feathers; they are a little bit smaller than a robin. The females are mostly gray with the same wing markings, but their heads are accented with colors that range from greenish yellow to rust, depending on the individual. One female showed up along with the male, but I did not get a good photo of her.

I had not seen pine grosbeaks here for two years. What a treat! The whole family got a look at them. Mr. Attitude exclaimed "It's a red jay!" Good description, even if he had the wrong bird family.

We're having a much needed heat wave today. The temperature never got below zero last night, and it's 10 degrees out! I'm off to clear snow off the pond and go skating later.

how not to load a woodstove

Glass windows are nice on woodstoves. They allow one to enjoy a view of the fire, and to easily know when it's time to add more wood.

However, if you're adding a particularly large piece of wood to the fire, and having a problem getting it in place with the poker or by hand, the glass window should not be used to push the wood into place. Particularly if one accidentally uses more than minimal force when closing the door. The glass is tough, but not that tough.

Oops. I didn't pick a good night to put the woodstove temporarily out of commission, as it was -12 F outside. Luckily we had the backup propane heater, but it's nothing compared to wood heat.

$60 and an 80 mile round trip to the nearest specialty glass store later, The Hermit successfully replaced the window.

I am getting very sick of winter.

a couple things to celebrate

The odometer on my 1995 Honda Accord station wagon rolled over to 200,000 miles on my way home! As destiny would have it, the event occurred exactly as I was crossing the Kettle River, on the beautiful route (though it was dark) I drive so often. I am convinced those Accords never die; they just rust away slowly if you let 'em. We have another one, a 1990 manual transmission sedan, currently on loan to my stepson, with over 400,000 on it. Kilometers, that is. It originated in Canada. But no matter how you do the math, I'm pretty impressed with their record. And they do get up to 30 miles per gallon, which is easy on the bank account and easier on the environment than most other options. And it's paid for!

Another thing worth celebrating: I swam 1000 meters on Tuesday and today. It doesn't quite feel like swimming did when I was 14 and on the junior high swim team, but I'm not in as bad of shape as I thought I was. I can still sprint freestyle 50 yards, although it takes longer to recover.

dream mandala

Thanks to arcolaura, I now have a name for the pattern of lights I saw swirling in my dream: mandala. And thanks to Google image search and Photoshop, I was able to create this approximation from a simple spirograph image.

According to various sources on the Internet, seeing this in a dream means I have achieved higher consciousness, that I am one with the universe.

I don't feel that different.

strange dream

I was at my aunt and uncle's lake place to celebrate my birthday. (This, in real life, was a very important place to me when I was growing up, when my grandparents lived there). I don't recall who all was there, but there was one aunt constantly fussing over food preparations, shoving more food on the table just as the previous meal was being cleared. I went outside, and my aunt had so many garden statues and other yard stuff lying around I could hardly walk around the house. When I looked out at the lake, which was frozen over because it was winter, I was dismayed to see a monster all-terrain vehicle rally on the lake right in front of the house! They were even using part of the hill for a starting ramp. I was the only one who seemed concerned about seeing it, and I went back inside the house to dig for my digital camera so I could blog about it. (Yes. Blogging has officially taken over my dreams.) It took a long time to find the camera in my backpack, and when I finally found it there was a small group of people standing on top of the hill watching the ATV rally.

This is where the most bizarre thing appeared. I looked up in the sky, and there was a comet or meteor-like object moving rapidly across the sky, leaving a trail of bright white lights behind. It was bigger and brighter than any meteor I've ever seen, though, and more like a cluster of lights. "Look!" I yelled. "Something's burning out across the sky!" Then the cluster of lights stopped moving, and fomed into a large vertical ring that was rotating like a wheel. After that, the lights arranged into a variety of kaleidoscope-like patterns. Then I realized they were moving towards me rapidly. I swear I felt them hit me right between the eyes. I awoke with a sudden expelling of breath, like I'd had the wind knocked out of me.

I don't recall feeling terror, or maybe I did not have time to react.

This is the most vivid, bizarre dream I've had in a long time. I cannot recall any real life display like those lights. No, I wasn't drinking. Not much, anyway.

more brr

This black capped chickadee is utilizing several strategies to keep warm in this bout of subzero weather we've been having. Some have said, and I can't remember exactly where I've heard this, that according to the laws of physics, chickadees should not be able to survive extremely cold weather. Obviously, this bird is not a law student.

One, it is eating. Luckily it is part of a flock that has found a reliable seed source (that would be me). The chicks get the bonus of what to them is an all-you-can-eat buffet, and I get the bonus of being able to watch them from my somewhat climate-controlled shelter.

Two, it is fluffed out to the max. Those down feathers, with their amazing air-pocket trapping capacities, are the equivalent of a good down comforter or parka. Goose, that is, not chickadee.

Three, it is sitting in the sunlight, in an area sheltered from the wind. Microclimate makes all the difference. I wonder if the black cap helps it to absorb more heat from the sun in its cranial area.

Four, it spent the night roosting, probably in an old woodpecker nest in a dead tree (leave 'em standing!), with a bunch of other chickadees. The bent tail feathers I see on some individuals attest to the fact that when it comes to sleepover parties, the more the merrier. The tail feathers sometimes get bent when things get crowded, but all benefit from the body heat and retention from all that chickadee down. But body heat isn't everything; I have heard chickadees can drop their internal temperature at night to save energy.

We humans have slightly different adaptive strategies. We build unnaturally shaped rectangular domiciles and fill the walls with glass fiber fluff. We burn wood inside these shelters, and even sometimes bottles of liquid propane. Sometimes both at the same time. We put on warm clothing. KIDS--REPEAT--WE PUT ON WARM CLOTHING!! Today we even took a few further adaptive measures, like putting plastic on the three porch windows that we'd been too lazy to do before. And The Hermit had to fix the propane heater, which somehow had gotten polluted by some foreign plastic object that somehow got in there. Both measures had measurable effects; I'm not freezing sitting here at the computer and the temperature at about 10 feet up in the main room topped 100. Again, microclimate is everything; on the floor under the bunk bed, a can of pop will still freeze.

fun stuff to do when it's below zero

Did you know if you toss a pan of boiling water in the air when the temperature is 12 below zero (which, by the way, was our high temp for the day), this is what happens? Sorry for the off center photo; I did the tossing and the photography. Anyway, the water vaporizes, explodes, and freezes all at the same time. I have been pondering the physics behind this phenomenon all day, but I still can't quite figure out an explanation of why this happens. Maybe if there's a very good science teacher out there he might shed some light on this. Obviously from the trajectory of the water particles, some sort of energetic release is involved. I learned this trick from a fellow Minnesotan on the Homesteading Today forums.

Another fun thing to do, with the benefit of getting cleaned up without taking an outdoor shower: Family memberships at the school swimming pool are $48 a month. They have open swimming Saturday afternoons, so we enjoyed a swim today, followed by a long hot shower. I haven't relaxed so much or had so much fun in the water for a long time. I enjoyed it so much, I'm going to start swimming laps Tuesdays and Thursdays after work. The shower alone is worth it, not to mention the exercise!

I also spent some time this morning labeling my last 100 blog posts, since I now have this option. I have about 500 posts to go, so this will take a while, but I'm really liking this feature. The only problem is, the floor under the computer is about the least insulated floor in the house, not to mention we didn't get around to putting up plastic on all the porch windows. So I have cold feet.

and it's windy too

it's so cold...

I just found this out: Pop cans are really loud when they explode from freezing. Especially when they are ten feet away in the same porch where I am sitting here blogging at 4:30 AM.

It's gonna be a long weekend...

Opportunistic birding

I had a dreaded "planning" meeting the other day, in which we "professionals" discuss how a huge state park should be managed in the next ten years. My agenda, as a representative of Fisheries, was to eradicate beaver from the area and restore native brook trout streams. But I'm not by nature a persistent sort of person so I think what I may have accomplished, at best, was contributing an understanding of how native brook trout contribute to the ecosystem.

Oh well. I took every advantage of having a meetimg 20 miles away from work; I took the back roads on my way back to the office, and in doing so saw one rough legged hawk ( light morph), one goshawk (immature), a flock of about two hundred snow buntings (beautiful), and several ring necked pheasants. ( I know, exotic, but it was my 30th species for the year!) And, on the way home I saw a bald eagle. Sweet.

Groundhog Day in Minnnesota

First, and this was news to me, we do not have an official groudhog here in Minnesota. The task is taken up, by of all creatures, a porcupine.

Second, the porcupine saw its shadow and was scared, hence six more weeks of winter. Somehow, six weeks does not sound all that bad. But who defines "winter" anyway?

Third, it's way damn cold out and I have a hard time thinking about global warming when it is -15F outside.

Fourth, alcoholic beverages have a wonderful counteracting effect on cabin fever. I would suggest Svedka vodka, not just because of my Swedish heritage. But, enjoy in moderation.

Yeah right.

I done been switched!

After trying once to switch to the new Blogger, and being told, after countless implorings, that they could not do it for me at that time, I have, I guess, switched to the new Blogger. Whatever.

old barn