I and the Bird #120: March

Welcome to this week’s edition of I and the Bird. Since the name of my blog, Sand Creek Almanac, is a twist of the title of Aldo Leopold’s classic, A Sand County Almanac, and it is March, let us begin with Leopold’s musings on March:

One swallow does not make the summer, but one skein of geese, cleaving the murk of a March thaw, is the spring…a migrating goose, staking two hundred miles of black night on the chance of finding a hole in the lake, has no easy chance for retreat. His arrival carries the conviction of a prophet who has burned his bridges.

– Aldo Leopold, essay “March” from A Sand County Almanac, 1949, Oxford University Press

Here in Minnesota, USA, March is a month of limbo. The calendar says winter is over, but we know spring won’t arrive until at least mid April, when our 10,000+ lakes finally emerge from a covering of ice. A warm sunny day is as much a possibility as a blizzard or a cold frosty night. We may peel off a layer or two of clothing, but we don’t pack away the long underwear…yet. (We’re saving it for the first Twins baseball game in their new outdoor ballpark!)

Perhaps it is because I was born on the day of the vernal equinox, but I find March to be the most hopeful month of the year. I listen for the first joyful honking of Canada geese. I eagerly anticipate the first sighting of a male red winged blackbird staking out his marshy territory. Although robins overwinter in some scattered areas, my first March sighting of a robin is a cause for celebration. The pair of sandhill cranes that nest in the shrubby wetland by Sand Creek near my house raucously announce their arrival in the latter part of the month. Just the other night I was thrilled to hear the call of a northern saw-whet owl. The cycle of life continues.

Bird bloggers seem to embody this spirit of March hopefulness year round. Whether they travel great distances to enjoy seeing new species, or delight in the drama in their own back yards, birders are aware and open to the wonder that is always present in life. I am pleased to present another fine collection of bird blogging!

In the Backyard

Jayne has the privilege to see a raptor in her backyard regularly, and she shows how the red shouldered hawk got its name!

Amber's Texas bird lounge took on a wintery look, attracting many visitors!

Another Texan, Kay, shows that if you build it (or fill up your feeders and baths) they will come!

There are two lessons to be learned from The Geek In Question: 1) Sometimes a bird will wait while you run inside to get your camera, and 2) Your mother in law can wait--photos like these are worth it!

March means it's time for spring cleaning, and even Carolina chickadees are getting into the spirit! Thanks Alan!

The Grizzled but still Incorrigible Scribe Himself (perhaps the longest Blogger handle ever) lives and writes by a river in Ohio. He is a newcomer to I and the Bird, and I introduce you to him via his observations of great blue herons fishing-Wow! Can they EAT!

Close to Home

RuthieJ, a fellow Minnesotan who knits, birds, and writes about it at Nature Knitter, takes us on a Sunday drive by the Mississippi River.

JSK had an opportunity to zero in and identify some ring necked ducks on a local river.

Of course, when your home is an RV, everywhere is close to home! Dawn's latest home is in Arizona where she went on a quest for a rare visitor.

And, was anyone in the USA and Canada NOT watching the final Olympic hockey game? Wanderin' Weeta and I were perhaps the only two. She found a great opportunity for an uncrowded beach walk.

Travels with Birders

Aimophila Adventures goes to Kootenai Lake, and the owl he found is way too cute.

Laura escaped this year's brutal New Jersey winter temporarily for sunny Florida.

Carrie went on an owl prowl in Canada, and let me tell you, this is one of those blogging moments when the telling of the tale is as sweet as the destination!

Mike Bergin, while in Ecuador, got up close and personal with some antpittas. What's an antpitta? I've learned so much from hosting this carnival!

The Horned Guan. It's a bird that requires tremendous physical exertion, careful planning, and a lot of luck to see. Nate gave it his best.

Birds in the News

It seems this ivory billed woodpecker thing won't go away, even after five years. Grrlscientist wonders about this "faith based birding", and asks if we shouldn't maybe spend our time and money on birds that are proven to still exist.

We know corvids are intelligent birds, but is there a limit to their problem solving ability? And do the corvids really care? John at A DC Birding Blog reports on the latest research.

Birds Up Close- Photos and observations

What's a shikra? Otherwise known as the little banded goshawk, it is a beautiful bird that looks a lot like the northern goshawk I sometimes see here. Thomas at Nature Magnified, of Karimannoor, India, gives us the details.

I don't think I've ever had a bird give me the evil eye, but it sounds like the yellow eyed junco would do it. BEWARE! Alison of IBIS tells us how to ID this bird of high altitudes.

Pileated woodpeckers. I love 'em. And by my unofficial poll, they are the most-often mentioned species in this IATB edition. Adrian at Voyages Around My Camera gives a good account of these giants of the woodpecker family.

Kestrels are another sign of spring where I live. Thanks to Moe of Iowavoice.com for showing one in its striking beauty.

I used to listen to Marsh Wrens singing at night at a house I lived in that was...next to a marsh. I never knew they built such elaborate nests! Thank you Larry for the details and photos.

Birds in Dreams

Yes. I do dream about birds sometimes. And sometimes I can't remember if it was a dream or reality. Our dreams reflect aspects of our lives. So what do these dream birds represent?

Birds and Life

Sometimes an everyday walk can provide extraordinary moments. Often birds provide the gateway to those moments. Have I mentioned pileated woodpeckers already? They cannot be mentioned enough. Robin never fails to notice these wonderful moments in nature.

A beautiful tribute to an eagle that stole Vicki's, and no doubt many others' hearts. Fly free, Spirit.

Looking towards the future, a mom writes about birds, feathering the nest, and the little milestones of childhood.

Thanks to all for being out there and sharing it with everyone! Next edition is at Birder's Lounge!

I and the Bird: call for submissions!

I am way late on this. I have known for several months that I would be hosting the 120th edition of I and the Bird, the carnival of bird blogging. But nevertheless, the event has sneaked up on me and the time for submitting your excellent bird blog post for inclusion in this edition is NOW! Well, actually you have until Tuesday, but don't leave me hanging! Drop me an email with a link to flutemandolin AT gmail dot com. Thank you!

Egg comparison

On the left, a "local" egg from our very local huge chicken operation that stinks up the air regularly. Our school is downwind from this hatch house, and we always dread a wind from the northwest if there be football games, or baseball, softball, or track meets.

On the right, one of our homegrown eggs. They have not had any special organic feed, nor have they had much space to roam. This is just what it's like to have fresh home grown eggs. I can almost see the Omega 3's!

I and the Bird #119

Since I have nothing to say here, as has been the February curse, go check out I and the Bird, the carnival of bird blogging, over at the eloquent Laura's blog, Somewhere in NJ.

I'm up next for hosting, so if you have anything bird related, let me know! My e-mail is on the sidebar, or just leave a comment and I'll get back to you.

My coworker saw a red headed woodpecker today. Damn. I mean, good sighting! ;) I haven't seen one in years!

Testing 123...

This is a test of 1) my new AMAZING toy (more below); 2) my fledgling skills at creating a video from audio and still pictures on Windows Movie Maker; and 3) my ability to record myself without freezing in stage fright.

For my anniversary/early birthday present The Hermit got me something I didn't even know I'd been wanting: a portable digital audio recorder. Well, actually it's way more than that; it has a tuner, preset rhythms, effects, it does everything but play flute/banjo/mandolin/whatever for me.

There's so much I want to do with it I didn't know where to begin, so I thought I'd just pick one of my favorite songs, play it, and try not to be too much of a perfectionist about the finished product; after all, I was more anxious than anything to share some of my music with you! This is an Irish reel called "The Laurel Tree".

There's much more where that came from. I promise.

synchronicity

A couple weeks ago I commented on RuthieJ's blog about how beautiful I thought southeastern Minnesota looked, but that I had hardly ever been to that part of the state. Really. I have been to the far northeast and southwest corners of Minnesota, and spent some time in St. Peter and Park Rapids, but by far most of my Minnesotan experience has been limited to the east central part of the state.

Last week at work my boss asked me if I would be interested in a training opportunity to be held this fall in southeastern Minnesota. In previous years I would have balked at the time commitment, but now I think the time is right. Plus, in these economic times, I see additional training as a valuable asset in making myself indispensable. ;)

So it looks as though I will be spending a week or two in October in far southeastern Minnesota, becoming fluent in fluvial geomorphology. And maybe spotting some migrant birds?

They say there are no coincidences. I'm starting to believe they are right.

just an update

No, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I have just run into a paucity of bloggable moments, coupled with a paucity of computer time. Someday I will have my own laptop. Darn kids.

Seriously, in late January/early February, nothing is happening in Minnesota. I haven't even had any notable birds at my feeders. I have heard a few great horned owls calling, but generally there is a lack of wildlife wonder around here.

Today I cleaned/organized the room that will eventually be The Hermit's and my bedroom. A little wiring, a little drywall, and get the tools and building supplies the heck outta there! I am so ready to have a finished house, and so realizing it's not going to happen any time soon.

Starflower and Mr. Attitude were having a good time sliding down the stairs on a piece of cardboard that was part of the box our big TV came in, the box I finally removed from the future bedroom today.

Calvin's basketball season is winding down. They have one game left, at a town so far away I probably will not be attending. But the game I watched this week was good enough for me. He scored six points, had some great defensive moves, and played almost the entire second half. One of his best friends was on the other team, they had the same number, and ended up guarding each other...fun to watch!

In musical news, we have a new Yamaha keyboard in the house, with (literally) all the bells and whistles. Starflower and Mr. Attitude needed something better than our 20 year old muddy sounding Roland for piano practice, and we don't have a good place in the house for a real piano. But when you have a gazillion different sound effects, a real piano would just be so BORING! The interesting part is, Calvin has taken a great interest in the new keyboard. He has never taken a piano lesson, but he can figure out how to play the trumpet part from a band song on keyboard (Calvin plays alto sax). I know enough about playing music to think that is amazing.

So that's the news from the doldrums of winter.

my one wild and precious life

Tell me, what is your plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

- Mary Oliver, from "The Summer Day"

I have still been feeling the winter blahs lately. The temperatures dropped this week and we were flung back into the throes of a normal Minnesota winter. I have to remind myself in just one month it will be March, the month when spring begins to unfold.

Out of boredom, or maybe desperation, I went to the library one day and ended up browsing the aisle that contains "religion", "psychology", "self help", "nature", and "auto repair". It is, after all, a small library. I ended up with a self help book written by an architect. Really. Sarah Susanka, of "The Not So Big House" fame, has a book entitled "The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters". Of course I have been living the experience of building the "not so big house" for a while now, and I have learned a lot about interior design from her books. And who says you have to have a degree in psychology to write a self help book anyway? It's been done.

I'm about halfway through, and while I enjoy the architectural perspective, I realize it is just another self help book. And I realize that my life is not so big to begin with, compared with the examples. But like any good self help book it has gotten me to think about my life. In one chapter there is an exercise that asks the reader to "recall any situations where Providence moved to create the perfect conditions for your own exploration or pursuit of an interest or passion." For some reason I thought of something I had never considered before.

When I was in sixth grade, nearing my twelfth birthday, I played the violin. I was doing okay, pretty good really, but for some reason it just didn't excite me. Then one day, I don't know how or where I came up with the idea, but suddenly I just knew: I wanted to play the flute. What's more, I knew I was going to do it. My conviction must have impressed my mom, who went so far as to speak with the coordinator of musical education for the school district. After all, they needed all the violinists they could get and flutists were a dime a dozen. But I ended up learning the flute, even accompanying the church junior choir and playing a solo on Easter Sunday, barely six weeks after I started!

So where has the flute taken me? I only wish that passion and confidence had stayed with me, that I had dared to dream I could be...a flautist. But then again, I would not be here in this life I know, so let's not even go there with the "what if's". But I still have the passion for music, and it's been showing itself more often in the last year or so. What if I could still invite that passion to move me to action, to make my life more about music?

Then yesterday I was tagged in a Facebook note by my dear blogging/FB friend Jim. He asked to respond to the question "What are my plans for living my one wild and precious life?" (See the Mary Oliver quote above)

My plans? Have I ever had any? It seems I've just been rolling along with the flow. I like a lot of things about where the flow has taken me, but what if I had the courage to make plans? I know, nothing makes God laugh more than humans making plans. But somehow, and this is going to sound incredibly stupid, I never realized I had the choice to make things happen and live my dreams.

So my plans? Practice. More practice. Make a commitment to play music with others. Print a business card: "Musician". Write those songs I've been meaning to write. Sing whenever the mood hits me. Join in. Play flute under the bridge even when there are canoeists within earshot. ;) I knew it when I was not yet twelve. I've been ignoring it for way too long. I plan to be a musician. Well, I already am, but I mean even MORE of a musician. One who actually is heard in public.

I have been having some incredible times with the flute lately. I'm reeling on the reels, and jigging with the jigs. Not that I'm ignoring the other instruments; the guitar was out of its case for a while, as was my singing voice. Both were fairly in tune for having been ignored so long!

I remember the year of the great gray owl...

...and perhaps the greatest thing that came of it.

Five years ago we were in the midst of a northern owl irruption that I may never see the likes of again. Great gray owls were everywhere. Sometimes it was difficult to drive on the roads without hitting one; I never did, but I did pick up one or two unfortunate ones and brought them to the local wildlife office. I looked forward to my 30 mile commute, eager to see just how many owls I could count without really trying.

I was sort of in a sleepy mode in need of awakening back then. We had lived here just over two years, and were just coming off being very close to moving away in what I understand now would have been the mistake of our lives. God acts in strange and mysterious ways, and there had to be a God to have orchestrated that in the twisted way it turned out for the better. Maybe someday I'll be ready to tell that story. Or not. All that matters is that we are still here.

But for now, it was the year of the great gray owl, and I was feeling kind of lonely and isolated, and I somehow found out about blogging. "Cool", I thought, and signed on and started one up. I had to think a bit about the name; what to call this crazy journey I was now about to document to the world? Out of the blue it came to me: Sand Creek Almanac. A nod to Aldo Leopold, and a recognition of one of the important natural features on our land. Well, not so natural in that it was ditched straight as an arrow about 90 years ago, but maybe I will do something to fix that some day.

I did not expect much at first. I did not even own a digital camera then, so no day to day photographic owl updates. I was writing, and with that I found an important outlet I had been missing. Then I got my first comment. I think it was from Dan of Through the Woods (formerly A Payne Hollow Visit). Wow, I thought, people anywhere can find what I write, and some even are moved enough to share a few words with me?

So it's just kept on growing from there. I know there are some that think blogging is dead since Facebook and Twitter took over, but I still think there is a place for each kind of social media. For the record, I enjoy Facebook in moderation, but it can never replace the depth of what I want to write here.

My fifth "blogoversary" was yesterday; I don't know how I missed it! I feel as if I've been no less than reborn by blogging. I'm not being sentimental, I really think blogging has taught a social recluse like me how to connect with people. I have met a few new friends in person, and consider many more as true friends. I enjoy the day to day exchange through comments, and I have learned so much from all of your blogs. So a toast to five years at Sand Creek, may there be many more, and may I always awake to find new posts from my blogging friends!

the winter blahs

It was a beautiful Sunday for January, partly cloudy with a high of 38. It's the middle of a 3 day weekend for me. Yesterday I went running for the first time in a while, and I was all excited about making an effort to stay in shape over the winter and to get outside and enjoy life.

So why did I spend most of my day indoors, half heartedly doing random things and not enjoying much of it?

I feel like I've hit a wall. Stuck in a rut. I think maybe no small factor is the fact that we are still two months away from spring. Sure it's nice to be halfway done with January and to be having great weather at this point. But February, for all its brevity, can be the longest, dreariest month of the year.

It also doesn't help that I am aching from my exercise efforts yesterday. I wore my boots running, and while they supported my feet just fine they weigh about twice as much as my running shoes.

On the bright side, I have played lots of flute and banjo this weekend, and I can tell the more I play the better I get. I saw a bald eagle while I was running yesterday. And today Mr. Attitude, while playing video games, spotted a hawk flying outside. It landed in a tree long enough for me to get a look, with binoculars, and I decided it was either a juvenile Cooper's or a juvenile goshawk. I didn't know what details to look for that would distinguish the two while I was looking. Judging from the map, it is more likely a goshawk, which would be a great yard bird sighting!

And the Vikings scored a convincing victory over the Cowboys. Now I'm not nearly as much of a football fan as I am a baseball fan, but it's fun to have Minnesota go this far in the playoffs!

Maybe watching a little "Cheers" and "Frazier" with Mr. Attitude will help. :)

making bigfoot tracks

A late Christmas present arrived yesterday. A long time ago, The Hermit returned something to a sporting goods store and got an in-store merchandise credit, which in a moment of guilt, weakness, or whatever, he gave to me. From time to time I had thought of what I might spend it on, but I never made up my mind and forgot about the whole thing for a while.

Until last week, when we saw some snowshoe tracks when we were driving around. That made me think...I sure would like some snowshoes...oh yeah...the merchandise credit! I quickly went online and found a reasonably priced pair of recreational snowshoes. Notice the "made in the USA" label; these were made by Redfeather in LaCrosse, Wisconsin.

I took them for a test drive today, through some tamarack woods behind the house, along the creek for a while, then across the sedge and alder swamp to some aspen woods. I found out quickly that snowshoeing is not just a walk in the woods. You have to lift your legs more than with regular walking, and even with snowshoes I was still sinking in about six inches with each step. At around 170 I am probably close to the upper recommended weight for this model, so that didn't help. But then again if I do this whenever I can it will help me to lose that extra 30 pounds.

I saw lots of signs of wildlife: rabbit highways are everywhere, and once I got into the aspen woods I saw lots of deer tracks and even deer beds like this one:

As the deer's body heat makes a depression in the snow, the snow helps to insulate the deer and keep it warm. I saw at least a dozen of these beds in the woods. One of them was right next to this:

This is a deer stand we built about 15 years ago. I have hunted from it once or twice, but not for a long time.

It was tough going, even with snowshoes, across the swamp where sedges hold a layer of snow above the ground. The actual snow depth is a foot or less, but I was breaking through two feet or more of snow crusted sedges. But it is even more difficult for the deer, who don't have snowshoe feet.

My wildlife highlight for the day was seeing a snowshoe hare, white as the snow! Of course it was way too quick for me to get the camera out of my pocket. But the real thrill was just being outside in the middle of winter. From time to time I would stop, breathing in the cold air and the silence. I felt alive, not hibernating. The swamp was a challenge to get across, but the big thing was, I was outside.

Here's a view of my house you won't often see.

early morning mandolin

I had a little extra time this morning, for a change. Starflower had to wake up early to make it to school on time to leave for a special science field trip. She's been excited about it all week, partly because in one of the sessions she signed up for she gets to dissect a cow knee, and partly because only a few selected "smart" students from fifth and sixth grade get to go on this trip. The Hermit drove her to school, so I had an extra half hour to myself.

I was feeling a little guilt over not keeping up my resolution the last couple of evenings. I had forgotten how I don't get home until after six and then there's dinner to make and all that, and I'm usually pretty exhausted afterwards. I was also feeling a little guilty about not having played my mandolin in a while, which is probably why I had a dream that someone gave me three "extra" mandolins they happened to have lying around. So I tuned up the mando and played for ten or fifteen minutes. It was a nice quiet morning meditation.

That is, until the phone rang. The thirteen year old girl down the road missed the bus, and was wondering if I could give her a ride. Again. That's the second time this week. I suppose I could say no and leave her to face the consequences, but I'm not her mom. I'm beginning to suspect maybe her mom isn't even at home, or if she is, she has picked up some old destructive habits and is sleeping it off. So a ride to school is no big deal.

Time to mobilize the remaining troops. I enjoyed this so much I might keep the alarm set for 5:30 every day.

a resolution

I quit making New Year's resolutions a long time ago. I love the idea of New Year's Day, a clean slate and all that, but if you live in the northern latitudes you may understand that the darkest coldest time of the year is not the time to tackle vices with any success. The vernal equinox might work better for that. :)

But in the spirit of the season, I offer one resolution that so far (for 2 days) I have kept: I will play a musical instrument every day. I don't care if it's one minute or four hours, just the act of getting an instrument out of its case, holding it lovingly, and playing a note or song or two is something that brings me joy. And why not take the time every day to do something joyful?

the eagle and the raven

The Hermit and I went for a New Year's birding drive this morning. I had planned on going for a morning walk, but with temperatures hovering around zero I thought I might freeze my face off or something. The rest of the weekend does not sound much better.

We drove to the feeder where a few days earlier, on the Christmas Bird Count with Lynne, Steve, and Jim, I caught a brief glimpse of what we decided later was a Spotted Towhee. This bird is very rare in Minnesota, and I think this was the first record of it ever in this county. At any rate it's a lifer for me, although I can't remember how many birds are on my life list. Two hundred or so.

The Hermit and I did not see the towhee, nor the female red winged blackbird that had been there for the CBC, nor the male cardinal (believe me, it's a rarity around here). We did see chickadees, blue jays, and downy woodpeckers. We drove for miles after that and enjoyed the dazzling sunlight, the beauty of the woods and cabins covered in snow, and the old barns and the bogs. But it was what we saw before we even got to the towhee spot that will stay with me for a long time.

I spotted something soaring in the sky. "Eagle!" I called out even before I got the binoculars focused. "Two of them!" The Hermit called out. Indeed there were two birds, but I noticed one of them was smaller, darker, and had a wedge shaped tail. Raven!

What was so odd, so strangely delightful, was that the eagle and the raven were soaring as if they were a pair. The eagle was the leader, and the raven imitated every circle, every wing stroke, staying near the eagle as if they were united in some unseen way. There was no sign of aggression, as ravens and crows often show towards raptors. The two unrelated birds were soaring in harmony. We watched in awe as they circled off into the distance.

Now you may believe in messages from some higher power, or you may believe all the messages are already written down, or you may not believe at all. I do think I was meant to see this. And on New Year's Day, I think it bodes well. May we all accept our differences and fly together as the eagle and the raven.

starling

So many other highlights from today's Christmas Bird Count, but I love this photo. I should probably crop it a little, but I'm not too fussy that way.

Another snowy walk

Thanks to my Christmas boots, I have a renewed interest in getting outdoors as often as possible. When I am walking or running on the roads near my house, my mood is good. When I'm stuck indoors, not so much. So for the sake of those who have to put up with me, as well as for my own well being, I have vowed to get outdoors as often as possible, even in the winter months.

Today I went for an unprecedented three mile walk along snowy roads. The weather was great, and I really needed to get out of the house. Along the way I saw turkey, deer, and snowshoe hare tracks, enjoyed the company of a few chickadees I coaxed out of the spruce thickets by "pishing", and enjoyed just walking to where I had run in the summer. I will start running outdoors again soon, just have to get these boots broken in a bit more and figure out the whole time schedule...

I also tried out Wii Fit Plus. It was Starflower's big present, but everyone is enjoying it. I don't think I'll have the time in front of the TV to make it a regular thing, but I do like the center of balance indicators they have for the yoga exercises. That could maybe take the place of an instructor. But for the most part, I would rather take a good long walk or run outdoors.

After the Christmas Blizzard

On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we received a total of about a foot of snow. With weather forecasts being what they are these days, this storm was not unexpected; one would have had to have been completely cut off from modern communications to not know it was coming. So most folks, ourselves included, stayed in for the night and day and enjoyed being together and playing with some pretty cool new toys. ;)

This morning I tried out my Christmas present: a lightweight pair of waterproof, Thinsulated hiking boots. I hadn't thought about it, but my old clunky, felt-lined Sorel pac boots were over twenty years old, and while they work just fine for trudging outdoors, they are, well, clunky. I can't walk fast or run in them. Decked in fleece lined cross country ski pants, long underwear shirt, down parka, hat, mittens, wool socks, and new boots, I set out for a walk. We hadn't taken the snow blower to the driveway yet (it's being done as I speak), but I followed one set of packed down tire tracks. The snow plow had been by on the road, so the end of the driveway had a nearly impassable mound of snow, and there was about another two inches of fresh snow on the road. A light snow was still falling, but it's not supposed to amount to more than an inch or so today.

Sand Creek was mostly open, due to yesterday's warm (nearly 40 degree) temperatures. I walked north across the creek for a while, then turned around and headed south past our driveway and down the road a quarter mile or so. After spending the better part of the last two days indoors, the fresh air felt good to me. I paused once in a while to hear the bird activity in the woods, the chatter of chickadees, the yawping of a pileated woodpecker, and the raucous cries of blue jays. I heard and saw a flock of white winged crossbills as I was walking back up the driveway.

My new boots worked very well. They kept my feet toasty warm, and there's nothing worse than having cold feet on a winter's day. I could even run in them, and I ran a short distance, but I think I'll break them in a little more before I do some serious winter running. One of our cool Christmas toys was Wii Fit Plus, and if I can book a time slot in front of the cool new TV I may try it out, but I think my Wii Fitness program will mostly be outdoors. :)

The warm house felt inviting when I came back indoors, and I spent a few minutes drinking coffee (flavored with a splash of Bailey's) and watching birds at the feeder. The snowstorm has brought flocks of goldfinches to the feeders, but there were a couple of birds that were more acustomed to hopping around on the ground, scratching for seeds:

American tree sparrow

The pictures don't do justice to their exquisite markings and subtle colors.

The holiday is over, and I still have a whole lazy weekend ahead of me! Time to finally pick up a musical instrument or two. Monday is the Pine County Christmas Bird Count, and I'm looking forward to a great day with some good birding friends.

Christmas eve visitor

This little black capped chickadee decided to perch on the screen of the living room window for a few minutes, long enough for Starflower to grab the camera and take a few photos!

I also had a flock of white winged crossbills visiting a spruce tree, feasting on cones. A light snow is falling, and we have decided to stay in for the night lest the weather take a turn for the worse. Sounds like a good Christmas Eve to me.

the thing about Christmas

The movie Christmas Vacation gets it right. No matter how hard we try to have a good old fashioned family Christmas, reality gets in the way of illusion. Clark Griswold, the ever well meaning family man, finds himself tempted by a seductive store clerk, shafted by corporate cutbacks, caught in the middle of squabbles between in-laws, becoming the unwilling benefactor to down and out relatives, and physically endangering himself trying to make the ultimate light show. Yet somehow at the end he finds the true meaning of Christmas.

This "true meaning" thing has eluded me every year. I somehow know what it is, I can feel some kind of longing for it, but yet I never come away from a Christmas holiday with a renewed hope and faith in humanity through the birth of Jesus Christ. And is that not what it is supposed to be all about? New hope for the world from the birth of a child?

Now I'm not one to believe that Christmas was ever a purely Christian holiday. There are so many customs that have nothing to do with the birth of Christ, yet have been with us for ages. That's why I disagree with all the "reason for the season" folks out there who think Nativity scenes should be mandatory in front of every public building, and that the phrase "Happy Holidays" should be banned.

The whole Nativity tradition seems to me...well I hate to snuff out anyone's Christmas lights, but as far as traditions go, it seems so simplistic. So infantile. "And there was sweet Baby Jesus, lying in a manger, and all the angels singing above." We are taught that at an early age, if we experience Sunday school. We are even forced to sing "Away In A Manger" while the congregation coos. Yes, everyone loves the image of a baby.

And that is what it is to me, an image of a baby, an archetype. New hope for a fallen world. Yet, the unanswered question is, why doesn't it ever work? Why does good will only last until New Year's, then we all settle back into neighbor vs. neighbor, Republican vs. Democrat, us vs. them? Why do charitable donations peak around Christmas, then fall off? And why, in the words of John McCutcheon in his powerful song "Christmas in the Trenches", do we "settle back to war"?

Oh that we could always see such spirit through the year...(from one of my favorite Charlie Brown Christmas songs)

We all do need this holiday, or our spirits would sink in these days of darkness and cold. But somehow it always leaves me wanting for more, hoping that one day humanity finally gets it.

Despite all that, I wish everyone a very merry Christmas, a happy holiday, or whatever you celebrate. It's the spirit of celebration that counts. I hope we can all keep that within us the entire year.

winter through a window that needs cleaning

This was the scene out of Calvin's window this afternoon, looking over my garden, across the swamp to the woods beyond. I thought today was strangely beautiful, with a light snow falling against the starkness of winter. I don't know how much of that is snowflakes and how much is fly droppings on the window. I must do some cleaning in there.

And this is our new area rug in the living room. The Hermit found it at Menard's on sale, and Calvin and his friend were more than willing to do all the hard work to remove the old rug, vacuum everything, and get this rug in place. Mr. Attitude likes it, as you can tell. Well, he would like anything that ensured his comfort playing video games. It looks like a new room, and I hope it stays that way! At any rate, Mr. Attitude should not have to be sitting so close to the TV come Christmas day...some oversizing may be in our future...

the grand entrance

I spent a great deal of time today decluttering our entry room, cleaning, and sorting mittens and gloves. I realized I had probably never blogged about this very essential room, so here it is.

The room is something like 8 x 12, and it sits on the southwest corner of the house, the corner you first see if you are coming up the driveway. There is an 8 x 8 deck outside the door. The room has one south facing window which, as you can see, lets in a great amount of heating light during the winter. There are a few storage boxes and bins under the window; sometimes we store firewood there. I have one box of onions there now, and that location seems to offer the right temperature to keep them.

That is a real church pew under all of our heavy winter jackets. The Hermit found it on Craig's list, and it fits in well there. Today was the first time in a long while that it wasn't all covered and cluttered with stuff. I cleaned it and gave it a generous rubbing with lemon oil, which it sucked up like a sponge.

In a climate where jackets and boots are a necessity a large part of the year, a room like this is nice. It serves as a nice transition between the outdoors and the indoors.

Tree...check

We now have The Tree. In previous years, I have ventured out, saw in hand. looking for an acceptable wild specimen. I have been ridiculed for choosing a Charlie Brown tree. So this year The Hermit took it into his own hands to find The (Griswold) Family Christmas Tree. And find it he did. It is a beautifully shaped balsam fir. If you've never had a balsam fir in your house, let me tell you the fragrance is more than you would ever expect from a cut tree. Divine.

Adorning The Tree are two strands of blindingly electric blue LED lights. I like the idea of lights that use a fraction of the energy of traditional lights, but man! These lights are BRIGHT! Calvin said he could see the tree all the way from the road as The Hermit was bringing him home from basketball practice.

It was heartening to see all the kids working together to decorate The Tree. It is our most beautiful tree ever, okay I will admit some of my home cut Charlie Brown trees were pretty lame...

Mr. Attitude in concert

Today was the big Christmas piano recital (yes, it was called that, no, no one is trying to steal CHRISTmas, at least around here). It was Mr. Attitude's first public solo musical performance, and he did a great job. He told me, in the car on the way home, "I was nervous for a bit, but then I told myself I CAN DO THIS!" What an attitude!

Starflower also performed wonderfully. This year she has really begun to figure out what piano is all about, and she has made some big advances in her playing.

The recital was fast paced, short and sweet and full of good humor. Our school band director (actually, the ONLY music faculty in the school) is the piano teacher, and we are so fortunate to have him as a teacher here. He is one of those dedicated teachers who really connects with the students and realizes the potential in each and every one of them.

Busy week. Tomorrow it's the elementary school music program in the afternoon, then I am driving Starflower and Mr. Attitude to my mom's home town, about 50 miles away, so we can watch Calvin's basketball game there with my 90 year old grandma and maybe my aunt and uncle. There is so little time between sunrise and sunset these days, as little as there ever is, and I guess that's why we need Christmas lights and music. It works for me, anyway.

Life is strange these days

We have two enormous boxes taking up space in our house right now. One is the Rinnai direct vent propane heater we bought last week, which will hopefully be installed by the end of the week so I will not have to get up at 3:30 AM as I did today to re-kindle the fire in the wood stove. We are finally moving towards winter, it will probably get down into the single digits tonight, and we need an alternative to wood once in a while.

The other box is the water heater we bought from our electric company. It is supposed to be amazingly efficient, and it heats water on off peak hours so we save on our electric bill, and the price is just added to our monthly electric bill, no big cash layout. Yeah, we have sacrificed a lot of our earlier idealism about going solar and being energy self sufficient, blah blah blah. I realize for a few that may be an option, but for a family trying to establish a home without a major endowment it is not an option for now. We are just doing the best we can to save on energy bills.

Our plumber, who is working on our house as a part time gig as he also has this thing called a REAL JOB, was here on Saturday and got the bare skeleton of our household plumbing started. Our main hope for this winter is that we get the well, pump, and pressure tank in, the water heater connected, and at least one fixture (a laundry sink probably) up and running hot and cold. With a drain.

With all this going on, I have had to devote some time to rearranging my utility room and I have not gotten around to any preparations for Christmas. Oh well, the lights and tree will wait until we have a spot for them. We are making progress on what we need in the house, finally.

Homegrown watermelon...in December

I never thought I would have a blog post with that title. For one thing, before this year I had never succeeded at growing even one watermelon (Although I don't remember if I had even given it a try). And, had I succeeded, I thought watermelon would be something to enjoy in the warm days of late summer. I had never heard of watermelons storing over two months!

It turns out I inadvertently stored a watermelon for more than two months after I brought it in from the garden when the first hard frost was threatening. I put it in with a crate of winter squash. It was not a very big watermelon, mind you, or I would have noticed it and perhaps consumed it earlier. It was about seven inches in diameter.

Today I had to rearrange my utility room/pantry to make room for the laundry sink drain that the plumber came over to install. (Hooray!) While in the midst of moving things here and there I noticed the watermelon among the squashes. I was tempted to just toss it out the back door, like I have with some winter squashes that have gone bad already, but I paused. This watermelon was still firm and gave a nice "thump" when I tapped it. So I brought it to the kitchen and sliced it open.

I was greeted with the most sweet smelling, tender ivory yellow watermelon flesh I had ever seen. I sliced off a thin piece and cautiously tasted it... wow. Best. watermelon. ever. This is not hyperbole. It really was divine.

To be eating homegrown watermelon in December is one miracle. To have found something so good it defies description and gives me hope for next year's garden is another. This was even better than eating a homegrown tomato in December!

The variety was "Cream of Saskatchewan", an 80-day watermelon we got from Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds. With its incredible flavor and storage ability, I hope to grow lots of these next year.

why I hate walking

I have been "fitness walking" three out of four days this week; the day I missed was yesterday, when I had to pick Mr. Attitude up at school in the middle of the day, sick. The only reasons I walk are: 1) to kill time waiting for Calvin's basketball practice to end, and 2) because the last thing I want to do when I arrive home in total darkness at 6:00, with dinner yet to be prepared, is to go out for a run.

I much prefer running to walking. No matter how fast I walk, I just can't get that wonderful buzz, that mental clarity I get from running. And no matter how hard I try, I'm not burning nearly as many calories as if I had been running the same distance or time. I can barely get my pulse up into "the zone" by walking. And my shins hurt more from walking. Unfortunately, running is not an option at the school; even though a few people sneak some laps in, the floor is slippery enough that they allow walking only. And the hallway along part of the walkway can get congested at times; just the other day I was dodging little ballerinas and their parents. :)

I also wonder why so many women cannot seem to walk unless they are with someone else, walking two abreast on a track that is pretty narrow. I guess I'm just a lone wolf when it comes to exercise, but if you can carry on a conversation with someone while walking next to them, you are not working hard enough and you are obstructing the path for those who choose to walk at a faster pace. I applaud any effort anyone makes to exercise, but please show some common courtesy!

Alas this is the dark season, and the basketball season lasts until February. I will walk, iPod in my ears, but I don't think I'll like it.

flying by night

The night before last, I awoke about 3:30 AM to a waxing gibbous moon shining in the window, and the sound of swans. Tundra swans. This was the first flock I'd heard all fall, although I know they have been migrating. It turns out I didn't know the window was open a crack, so that made me hear them better and possibly even wake up just to hear them. The window is now closed, cold weather is finally on its way.

Rather than lie awake and worry about things, as I often do when I wake up in the early hours of the morning, I felt a sense of peace from hearing the swans. All was well, at least for another night.

It amazes me that swans, and many other migratory birds, fly by night. Navigation must be an instinctual art, one that was not lost on our ancestors who navigated the high seas before radar and GPS.

so close, and I blew it!!!

I had faithfully been posting every single day during the month of November, as promised. And what did I do? I forgot to post yesterday! Duh! I guess I can offer the excuse that it was Mr. Attitude's birthday, and I was busy with that. I washed dishes, baked a cake and cleaned house in the morning, then in the afternoon one of the several friends he invited came over and they played video games and had a mini party. I was actually happy that even one kid showed up; I had not heard from anyone beforehand so I was afraid it would become a non-event. I think it was just about the right size as it was.

I think blogging (almost) every day in November was a good thing for me. I had some mediocre posts, of course, but I was thinking more about the whole discipline of blogging and I ended up re-kindling the initial enthusiasm I had for it. I realized that I had not run out of ideas, just discipline. When I challenged myself to come up with a post every day I actually had an overabundance of ideas, some of which will have to wait for a later date to come to fruition. But that is good too; some things just need a little time to develop.

My blog traffic has increased somewhat this month, but I do not know if I can attribute that to posting more frequently. A lot of it, I've noticed over the past couple of days, has come from image searches. That tells me I probably need to protect my images more, and I found out it is really easy to watermark them in Picasa.

It is likely that I will have a new blog post the majority of days in December. It is unlikely that I will post every day just because I feel I have to. As always, thanks for reading and commenting!

A walk in the November woods

This morning I had an urge to go for a walk in our woods. Although the woods are practically at my doorstep, I do not get out there nearly as much as I should, and since during the week I leave at dawn and return in dark these days, today was a rare opportunity to explore.

Most of the color of the woods is brown these days, save for pine and spruce needles and this mini forest of Lycopodium, a club moss, growing on the forest floor.

The low light of the winter sun hits everything as it would only in morning or evening during the summer. It accented this old paper birch bark nicely.

I started my walk from the cabin, heading southeast on a path along the old logging railroad siding, which still stands slightly raised from the rest of the forest floor. When I approached our property line I turned west and walked through the fairly open forest of white and red pine. I made my way to the rim of the old gravel pit, above, long overgrown with trees. From this angle it looks like a definite trail, and it is in most places, although I would have to cut a few limbs to make a ski trail out of it.

Along the gravel pit trail I saw curious signs of a culture that had been there before me. I do not know what the ice cream pail symbolizes. :)

I went out looking for signs of birds and deer, and I did see a few. My walk was cut short as I was headed behind the new house. I heard a flock of small birds fly over, and they sounded a lot like crossbills. I followed their direction, hoping to find them in a spruce tree eating cones, but I could not locate them. But the best sighting came after I was back at the house, sitting out on the deck enjoying the noonday sun and calm, mild weather. I heard the sound of swans flying from the north. At first I thought maybe I would see a flock of tundra swans, but these had the unmistakable voice of trumpeter swans. I watched a flock of about a dozen or so as they flew over the swamp on the east side of our land. My bird of 2009 will have to be the trumpeter swan; I have never seen so many of them!

I had expected some peace and quiet in the woods, but in reality it was quite noisy. Since all the leaves are off the deciduous trees, we hear traffic louder, although thankfully there is not much. There were two or three trains that passed on the railroad some four miles away during my walk, and the sound rumbled and thundered through the woods. There were a few gunshots, probably grouse hunters or muzzleloader deer hunters. And there was the sound of Starflower and Mr. Attitude playing on the empty trailer, shouting and making it tip like a teeter totter as they shifted their weight. I guess 3 AM may be better if I want silence.

four miles

Things were kind of busy around here today, what with the propane guy trying to dig a trench to the new house so we will have it ready when we get the new heater we are ordering. We have not had reliable backup heat in the new house yet, but with the new heater we are getting we should be able to go away for a while and not have to worry. Not that we have anywhere to go.

The Hermit also had a friend come over to help haul away a load of old tarps and other stuff that was sitting in a trailer. We need the trailer because tomorrow he is going to pick up a washer and dryer he found on Craigslist! The plumber was also here, figuring out how to get water up and running.

I was kind of overwhelmed by it all, so I went for a run in the middle of the afternoon. I think I went four miles. It is so difficult to schedule running time these days, but I think I may be walking at the school next week while I wait for Calvin to be done with basketball practice. They have a walkway that goes around the level above the gym. Too slippery for running, but if I have a half hour to spare anyway, walking will do.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone

I realize to my Canadian friends this is just a normal day, but it's always a good idea to give thanks. I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads, food in the pantry, and a source of income and health insurance. I am thankful for family and friends, and pets who bring so much joy into our lives. I am thankful for health. I am thankful for the Internet, for bringing wonderful people into my life and for making more information available to everyone.

After making the 100+ mile drive to the city and back to celebrate a wonderful meal at my brother's house, I am thankful I live where I do, that I don't have to put up with that kind of noise and traffic every day! I am thankful that piling the family into the car and making that drive is even an option.

Yes, this world is imperfect, and sometimes I wonder with all the suffering and oppression how I deserve this good life I have. But if I resolve to live a life of grace and compassion, to share the gifts I have and raise my children to be good people, I hope to have made a difference.

Grace and peace to all.

Sally's not so big adventure

My name is Deb, and I am a bad dog mom.

It all started last night, when I let Sally outside to do her business. I don't remember what time it was. Somehow I got distracted, human kids have a way of doing that to me, and before I knew it I was upstairs in bed reading the first pages of The Hobbit and trying to decide if I wanted to take the plunge into fantasy world and read the whole thing. The jury is still out. Testimony is still welcome.

The next thing I knew it was 1:30 AM. I usually wake up briefly around that time. Only something was wrong. I could move my legs freely. There was not a dog curled up at the foot of the bed. Uh-oh. At 1:30, Sally is never anywhere else but curled up at the foot of the bed. I got up and walked around the house, checking every place she might be. No Sally. I went outside and called her name. No Sally.

I had a thought that she may have sought refuge at the Cabin/Man Cave. The Hermit and Calvin have been sleeping there lately, just because they can. I went out there, opening the door carefully because I did not want to wake anyone. Sally is a light sleeper, and I thought for sure she would wake up if I so much as touched the door. And I thought the last place she would be was in bed with The Hermit; I thought she avoided him. I looked everywhere else. No Sally.

I was starting to worry, but for some reason I never jumped to grim conclusions. Sally would turn up somewhere, even if she had to sleep out in the 45 degree drizzly night, which was warm for this time of year.

I finally drifted off into sleep again, and woke around 6 AM. Shortly thereafter, there was a voice on our just-arrived intercom: "What's Sally doing out here?"

RELIEF!

It turns out Sally went over to the cabin after I totally forgot she was outside. She went into the cabin when The Hermit woke up in the middle of the night, and slept with him in the twin bed. I did not even think of looking there.

But all is okay, I am thankful Sally is here, and she seems to harbor no ill feelings towards me for my act of outright neglect. I promise I will do better as a dog mom!

Swans: the big picture

Post redirection

My daily post is up at Under the Blue Roof. I don't know if I will post here today, but I just wanted to let you know!

my favorite swan photo

I love the birches in the background.

in the company of swans, part 2

Trumpeter swans are very vocal birds. Even when they are loafing around on the water, they seem to constantly be talking to each other. I took this video mainly to record their sounds. Turn up the sound and enjoy!

in the company of swans, part 1

I am having problems uploading videos today. For now, let me tell y0u it was good. Nearly 50 trumpeter swans on a lake within ten miles of my house. Beautiful. I took tons of pictures, so beware!

the need for stillness

How many people these days have daily moments of stillness in their lives? Moments when the phones are off, nothing is urgent, thoughts of today's or tomorrow's problems are silenced, and even the ever uttering words in the mind stop for a while?

What do you mean? You don't have words going through your mind every waking minute? Tell me what world you live in. I would love to be there.

At this moment I am simultaneously telling Mr. Attitude how to organize the contents of his backpack and find his homework, going over the details of parent teacher conferences in my mind (they were pretty good!), planning meals, thinking about bills to be paid (it's payday tomorrow), blogging, thinking about how lame this post is rapidly becoming, and hearing the noise of the TV in the background. I need to clear my head.

I did go running this afternoon around sunset, since I arrived home a bit earlier than normal. I wore a blaze orange fleece jacket just in case. Three more days of deer season. Running, besides all its great physical effects, helps me to get into a more meditative state and quiets my thoughts a bit. There was no wind, and I stopped once or twice so I would not hear my shoes on the gravel, and just listened to the stillness.

The Hermit went to Crooked Lake today, where a couple dozen trumpeter swans are still resting, and he said it was so still he could hear it whenever one of them fluffed its wings.

That's it, I am taking off early tomorrow and going there.

starlings

Every day I see them. Two, maybe three, maybe five starlings. Perched on a wire where I turn onto the freeway, after dropping kids off at school, just another part of my daily commute.

I wonder what the starlings find attractive about that place. Maybe they like the noise of the freeway; they are noisy, mimicking birds themselves. I wonder if they wonder what all the traffic is for.

Ack, I've been found out!

I have known for quite a while, from looking at hits on my Site Meter and doing my own test searches, that this site is one of the top sources for info on Lloyd LaPlant musical instruments, thanks to this post. LaPlant does not have his own Web site, nor does he need one; his reputation as a quality craftsman speaks for itself.

I'm still not used to the idea of people I know in "real life", whatever that means anymore, knowing my blogging side. Especially when I find out in rather unexpected ways. Like when today I picked up an incoming call at the office. I answered in my usual voice, and the caller hesitated, then asked "Do you know where I can find a LaPlant guitar?"

After I picked my jaw up off the floor I smiled. Someone was on to me. After a second or two, the caller identified himself; he is someone from our agency whom we work with fairly often, and I have talked with him on the phone many times. "You're on to me!" I said. He proceeded to explain how he'd been to a couple concerts recently, and heard about LaPlant instruments, and decided to look for information online, which led him to this blog. He somehow put two and two together and figured out it was me. I did not know he was into bluegrass, and we had a good conversation.

Call it coincidence, synchronicity, or whatever. As Albert Einstein said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." At any rate, that call sure made my day at work a bit more fun!

November driving home

There is something lonely about driving home from work this time of year. Work is, for me, a pretty lonely place in itself, so I spend the long day looking forward to going home. Then when I actually do go home, sunset arrives within minutes and the gray and dead grass landscape takes on the shades of twilight. I drive through town looking for comfort in the lights; if I stop at the grocery store maybe I see someone I know, maybe the guy who has bagged my groceries for seven years now, who has watched my kids grow up, the guy who will yell hello from across the parking lot. He does not know, some days I live for that kind of friendliness, and I am grateful that he gives it so freely.

I arrive home as the last of the light fades, greeted by the welcoming lights of the house and a fire in the wood stove. But I sit in the car for another minute or two because there is a song on the radio, an orchestral piece for which I once played the essential flute part. Faure's Pavane. I have had part of this tune in my head for a while now, and I am glad to finally hear the whole thing again!

Darkness falls so early in November. I retreat quickly to comfort, to pajamas and my rocking chair by the wood stove and flannel sheets. It's the longest time until spring, and for now we must seek warmth and light and the company of others.

herbal tip of the day

So Mr. Attitude had a little meltdown yesterday morning. Actually I should say Mr. Attitude and I, because when all was said and done I was worn out and feeling like the most incompetent parent ever. It began over his tendency to be overly dramatic when he is losing at a video game. I reminded him to keep his voice down. He argued that I never yell at Calvin when Calvin overreacts to video games. Right then and there I should have realized it was a lose-lose situation. But I yelled too much, tried to reason too much, and probably only ended up escalating the situation.

Chamomile tea is known for its calming effects. I have given it to Mr. Attitude on one occasion, with impressive results. However, he is not particularly fond of drinking tea (what almost 8 year old boy is?). So try and make him drink tea, even if it is liberally sweetened with honey, when he is already in an agitated state...it turned into another power struggle in itself. I should have spiked the cup with vodka and drunk it myself; we both would have been happier.

It eventually was resolved, as these things are, and he is back to loving me in his alarmingly Oedipus way. But today I related my story in a comment on Madcap's blog, and she suggested maybe I should have used a "topical" application (with the wink smilie). Maybe it was too early, I was clueless, until a commenter from Scotland translated it into terms I could relate to:

"Chuck the tea on the wee bugger's head!"

Ha! That almost sounds like a line from one of those Irish tunes I've been playing on flute lately!

So, the lesson learned is: Chamomile tea is calming and relaxing. Especially when administered topically with excessive force! ;)

Saturday the 14th

Not much new to say. I am not at the symphony tonight. I am not very used to driving out after dark, and I decided I am a homebody. I did get some flute practice in, and even got my octave mandolin out of its case. Now I'm just listening to some very good music on the radio.

Friday the 13th

It just occurred to me that I did not see one media reference today to the superstition-riddled date. Finally they may be catching on to the idea that we have grown beyond that fear. Or maybe it's just that our attention spans are so short that we don't even make the connection anymore.

Starflower was born very early in the morning on a Friday the 13th of August. She spent another sick day home from school, as did Mr. Attitude. The Hermit took Starflower to the doctor, where she received yet another strep throat diagnosis and penicillin shot. She seems to get strep pretty often. I'm glad she's feeling better now. As for Mr. Attitude, he was already on the mend but just needed one more day. Both of them will be spending a bit of time this weekend catching up on homework.

I worked late tonight making sure another Minnesota lake was well stocked with walleye fingerlings. I wonder about the efficacy of such an effort, but then again I like my paycheck enough to question too much for now.

the power of dreams

Lately I'd like to know just when it was that I stopped believing anything was possible and started telling myself I wasn't good at stuff. What if I hadn't listened to myself at that point?

My mind is working differently these days. There's an energy now, something that tells me I can understand way more than I thought I ever could. I am reading books and essays that would have passed way over my head when I was in college. I am listening to in depth radio news programs and starting to comprehend the complex situations in nations like Afghanistan. I am thinking that even had I chosen an improbable career like investment banking, I could have been good at it. I could have been good at anything, with the possible exception of organic chemistry. And I may have even developed some intuitive understanding of molecules that I did not have before.

I have been listening to classical public radio more and more lately, and it has felt like a reunion with my old college flute playing days, even my young adult community orchestra days. I miss being a part of a Mahler or Schubert symphony. I entered college as one of the best flutists in the freshman class, but I lacked the confidence that I needed to take it to the next level. But I still have the skill. Now that I play mostly for fun, I'm sounding better than ever.

So now I have this crazy dream. There is a symphony orchestra in the nearest medium size city. Not a huge status thing for a classical musician, I think they probably all have day jobs as well, but they do have a pretty good reputation. I was just wondering...maybe if I start seriously practicing again, the next time they have auditions for a flute player...I could have what it takes. I just have to take myself seriously enough. But not too seriously; not being chosen would not be the end of the world. I don't have anything to lose by trying!

This orchestra also happens to be playing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony Saturday night. I found this out just a few days after I declared to myself that I want to hear an orchestra and choir perform that symphony live some day. Coincidence? Tickets start at $25, and I just might be taking myself to the symphony this weekend. :)

Crooked Lake

We went there looking for the swans. They were there, but hidden. November has its own kind of melancholy beauty.

warm November days

The pond has had a skim of ice on it a couple of mornings, maybe even today, although I did not take a close look on the way back from bringing Starflower to meet the bus. It was 24 degrees, so it could have happened. But by afternoon, with the temperature approaching 60, the ice was most certainly gone. Sally enjoyed it.

I stayed home with Mr. Attitude today, since he had a fever and sore throat. It was one of those throats that makes you wince when you hear him cough or try to talk. He seemed better after I gave him a Ricola cough drop. (Can you hear the alpenhorn in the distance?) I made him homemade chicken soup for lunch, with fresh sage, garlic and thyme. I am becoming a firm believer in the healing powers of herbs and chicken soup. I'm sure no small part of it is the care and love that goes into making the soup. He is napping now. I'll probably keep him home tomorrow as well, since I have the day off anyway.

update- it looks as if Starflower and possibly Calvin may be joining us at home tomorrow. More chicken soup is on order!

homegrown spaghetti squash

Doesn't have the ring to it like "homegrown tomatoes", does it? But this is probably the week where I'll enjoy the last of the homegrown tomatoes and move on to more durable storage things, like squash.

I did not end up with a lot of winter squash from my garden this year. However, a coworker started leaving bags of produce at my desk, by my car, everywhere, and among them was an abundance of winter squash. Mostly butternut and acorn, which are delectable and good keepers. I have probably over fifty pounds of edible squash flesh in my pantry and I am grateful.

I did manage, however, to produce a few spaghetti squash. This was my first year growing them, and considering the other varieties I planted didn't justify their space in the garden, I am impressed at the productivity of the spaghetti variety.

I must take issue with the name thing. While, when cooked, they do produce strands of flesh that may resemble a pasta product, the flavor is much more sublime than noodles, which are really just an excuse to pour on the sauce. I would never overwhelm the delicate flavor of spaghetti squash with a heavy pasta sauce. A little butter and salt and pepper, maybe garlic will do just fine, thank you.

They are really easy to cook too. The hardest part is cutting one in half, which I may have to resort to a kitchen size chain saw for. Once it is cut, by whatever means, scoop out the seeds, then spread a little butter or olive oil over the halves, put some water in the bottom of the pan, and bake at 375 for about an hour. Then take a fork and tease out the strands of cooked squash. Season as desired. That's it. We had them with boneless pork chops and rotini tonight (just because Mr. Attitude will eat more of anything when it is served with pasta!)

November woods

This morning, after the end of a brief rain storm that had interrupted Calvin's deer hunting, he asked me if I would like to see his hunting spot. I had absolutely nothing more important going on, so off we went.

I really don't get out in our woods often enough these days. This is a spot just south of the cabin, in a grove of white and red pine. There were signs of deer everywhere in the carpet of pine needles. Calvin was thinking of using the fallen pine as a blind.

Since I had last been to this area, which was roughly one or two months ago, this long deceased pine trunk had broken and fallen to the ground. I'm guessing it made quite a loud noise, if anyone was around to hear it. This tree had been dead for nearly as long as we have owned this land (15 years). Now the fungi and invertebrates and single celled creatures will do their work of turning the wood back into topsoil.

The air was still among the pines, fairly warm for November, and as we stood there silently a feeling of peace came over me. I wanted to just sit there, find a dry spot and sit with the trees for some time, try and reclaim some of what is lost when we stay away from the trees for too long. I want to go hunting now, if for nothing else than to just be outside.

While Calvin and I were enjoying the moment, I noticed this little spruce with a very obvious antler rub! Some of the branches were even sheared off. Calvin can't wait to get out there later this afternoon.

rites of passage

Calvin finally went deer hunting today. He saw a doe, but knew she was too far away for him to get a good shot. He is sleeping over at the Man Cave tonight, going out first thing in the morning. I think he's hooked.

I think this is a very significant thing in the life of a young man. Far from being some kind of "get more kids exposed to hunting" thing, this is personal. He will always remember his first hunting experience.

I never had exposure to a hunting tradition in my family. My grandpa went deer hunting occasionally, but it was not a tradition that was passed along. I don't recall any hunting on my dad's side. I have only carried a gun occasionally, and I don't think I have ever successfully shot anything, though I have walked grouse trails and sat in a deer blind. I would like to shoot maybe one deer, for the meat, but perhaps that is something for another day.

As for another rite of passage, I took Starflower to Wal Mart (yuck) today to get some supplies for a school project. While we were there, she reminded me that maybe we needed to start looking at bras, since some of the girls in her class wear them and all that. Yeah. So when did they stop making "training bras" and start making push up bras for ten year olds? I did let her buy one, though I really don't think she needs it yet.

So why was I not in the deer stand with Starflower today? Tradition I guess. I can't expect her to learn what I never learned myself.

a few more walleye, and deer season

I'll admit, I did not sit down at the computer knowing what I was going to post, and I really don't feel like writing anything. I came home early with the vague feeling that something wasn't quite right with me. I even went into the living room and turned on Emeril, just because I could and I certainly wasn't going to go running. I took my temperature and it registered at 98.6, which for me is a full degree above normal. I don't even feel like drinking beer. Why does this have to happen on the weekend?

Maybe it's the mom guilt. Calvin was complaining of a scratchy throat when he woke up, which I reassured him would be fine once he drank something. Wood stoves tend to promote dry atmospheres. I insisted he go to school, partly because I was second guessing my decision to leave Mr. Attitude home yesterday, and partly because Calvin had spent a couple questionable sick days home already. I told him he could always go to the nurse's office if he wasn't feeling right.

Of course the school nurse called me at work a little after 9 AM. I had a work thing I could not get out of, but I called The Hermit and he could pick Calvin up. They ended up going to Duluth, getting Calvin's first ever deer license and eating a 1/3 pound burger for lunch. Sore throat indeed. But did I mention our immune systems seem to be functioning pretty well.

Meanwhile, I ended up driving over a hundred miles following a fish stocking truck around to several lakes. The state contracts out some of its walleye stocking to vendors now, but authorized personnel (me) have to be around when the fish go into the lake. I don't know what to think about fish stocking anymore, but I kind of like my paycheck. Which came today, hooray.

No music tonight. I'm thinking if I can just drag myself up to bed that will be enough. It is nice that we don't need a fire in the wood stove tonight since the temperature almost made 60 in the afternoon. It is nice that the weekend forecast shows more of the same. Of course, I never enjoy the first weekend of deer season around here. During my travels today I passed several bars, and the parking lots were extremely crowded for the time of day. The freeway was busy with citdiots and their trailers with four wheelers, and I'm even thinking running this weekend might be a bad idea. Ah, deer season.

musical moments

I realized a long time ago that I am way over my head with musical instruments. Flute, mandolin, guitar, octave mandolin, banjo, and keyboard although I gave that to the kids. If I have an hour of consciousness between dinner and bedtime I am lucky to get some practice in. That is, if Starflower or Mr. Attitude are not practicing piano; then I try not to disturb them with my own plunkings. I really need to reclaim part of the MAN CAVE as my musical practice area.

Today I had an unexpected day home as Mr. Attitude had a sore throat, and I had promised him last night I would stay home with him if he was sick today. He wasn't that sick, and I have decided we must have superior immune systems around here, since the kids are never very sick! But still, I believe a day at home is better than a day at school if there is any doubt.

I took advantage of the morning by playing my flute. For some reason I felt like playing a tune I had heard, but never seen written in music. I found out quickly I could play the tune well. Then I listened to the recording I had first heard that tune on, and learned a couple more tunes. By the end of my practice session I had mastered a set of three tunes: Rosie Finn, Sean Bui, and The Kid On The Mountain. My thanks to The Bothy Band for the inspiration.

We also put up a new bird feeder hanger. Hopefully the feeders are up high enough now that cats can't get to them.

updates about our house

I have not posted any updates about progress we have made on finishing our house lately. Mainly being because there have not been any. Financial stuff and all that. I don't think I ever posted about The Hermit being laid off in April. I saw it as a silver lining thing. After he accepted the job, things changed with the organization, and the job he was hired for was not the one he was expected to do under new management, which caused a great deal of stress. If he would have quit on his own, he would not be collecting the unemployment benefits, which last I heard are expected to be extended another 20 weeks.

So we are getting along with the unfinished way things are, grateful to have a roof over our heads with no mortgage. It will all happen eventually, and really I think we are so fortunate to be living where we are.

But the cabin is what I need to talk about. I never imagined that, after we moved out, it would become a MAN CAVE! Duck decoys everywhere, two bird dogs sleeping in kennels, and Major League Baseball channel on 24 hours a day. Sigh.

entering the dark days

The one thing I like about the "fall back" to standard time is waking up after morning has broken. To me, there is something unnatural about waking in the wee hours of the morning when everything is dark.

Maybe that is just an issue of mine that goes back to the days when they still let kids have newspaper routes, and my brother subcontracted part of his route to me. The alarm would ring at 4:30 or some ungodly hour like that, and by 5 I would have my papers counted and loaded into a canvas delivery sack, and I hit the street. In the summer it wasn't so bad, but in the dark of fall and winter I don't know how I did it. Houses that looked questionable during daylight hours were terrifying in the dark. And Lord knows, if the wrong person knew that a sixteen year old girl was walking a paper route, showing up at the same place at a predictable time...the thought didn't cross my naive mind then, but I swear there must have been an angel watching over me.

I never think about the paper route days any more. Funny how something that was so much a part of my consciousness back then never even shows up in my dreams. But I still don't like getting out of bed before the break of dawn.

This morning there was a beautiful moon shining through the huge west-facing window by my bed. The nice thing about the dark side of the year is that the moon does not hide itself behind the pines in our southern view.

I forgot to mention in my beach post, during the Wednesday drive I saw my first small flock of snow buntings for the season.

And now, totally off topic, why am I suddenly getting so many blog hits for the search terms "ugliest flower ever"?

November daily blog challenge

It's Madcap's fault. My longtime blogging friend from Alberta decided to challenge herself to post every day in November. That was good news to me, since I enjoy her writing and her bold determination to go after the life she and her family want. So I commented with my approval, and added the idea that maybe I should take up the challenge myself. She was enthusiastic about the idea, so I'm in!

It's not that I have a paucity of ideas to write about. On the contrary, my brain has been in overdrive lately. Call it an awakening, a spiritual shift in consciousness, or whatever. My main obstacle to writing lately has been the need to wrestle my preteen kids for computer time. Oh for a laptop.

Tonight I capped off my 2009 gardening effort by canning 7 pints of salsa. When you consider I harvested most of my tomatoes in the fully green stage since they didn't ripen on schedule in this incredibly cool summer and I had to rescue them from frost, 7 pints plus a lot of slicers is a respectable yield. Overall I had a good gardening year, considering it was cooler than normal AND I had a doe who was attracted to certain crops. Payback time is coming... But I had great harvests of garlic and onions, carrots did well, and I grew more kale and Swiss chard than I could eat. I even had a fairly good crop of potatoes, though I decided my 4x4 raised potato beds need to go for two reasons: I can grow potatoes just as well in the 4x8 beds, and the kids need more space for their baseball field. :) As for canned goods, I have blueberry, raspberry, and strawberry jam, crabapple jelly, chicken broth, and zucchini pickles. I canned more this year than I have in a long time.

We are entering the season of long dark, accentuated by the change back to standard time. It's nice to wake up to a setting full moon in the first rays of daylight, but depressing to realize sunset happens when I arrive home.

Well, this is a start. If I'm going to be rambling about stuff every day this month, I better not let too much out at once. :)

lonely beach in October

On Wednesday and Friday of last week I was out of the office and on the road for work. I don't mind a 100 mile drive by myself once in a while. It's a chance to turn on the public radio news channel, or sometimes turn the radio off and just enjoy the quiet and the scenery. In order to get to and from where I was going, I had to drive around the shore of Mille Lacs, one of Minnesota's largest lakes.

On Wednesday the wind was out of the southeast, creating waves that splashed against the shore. I listened to the soothing sound for a few minutes, and I was reminded of other shores, other waters.

This beach on the north shore of the lake is a state-owned Aquatic Management Area, open to public fishing, swimming, birding, walking, contemplating, or whatever. Mille Lacs is one of the few lakes in this part of Minnesota that is big enough to have the wave action to form a natural beach, and there are very few stretches of beach along the lake that are undeveloped, in a natural state.

On Friday I drove through light rain for the first part of the day. When I stopped at the beach, the sun was just beginning to break through the clouds and mist. After I had turned away from the lake and was headed east, the wind came up, sending a storm of oak leaves and tamarack needles through the sky.

I saw very few shorebirds or waterfowl, but I did get this photo. I was carrying only my camera, not my binoculars, so I did not even see the details of this gull until I downloaded the photos. Bonaparte's?

wordless wednesday: trumpeters

North Big Pine Lake, Minnesota