I was in the middle of one of my epic movie-plot dreams, the kind that happen when I've had beer with lots of hops, when I felt the familiar but startling plop of a cat jumping on my legs. Slowly and cautiously it made its way up my body, each step exerting nine pounds per square inch on some tender body parts. A wet nose nuzzled my face as a furry body settled across my neck. My head was in a position where I could see the clock. "Puffball", I said groggily, "It's 2:15 AM!"
I was preparing to remove the purring animal from my neck when a small voice startled me.
"It always amazes me how you humans are preoccupied with that glowing number thing. It tells you when to wake up, when to eat, when to sleep. Ridiculous, if you ask me!"
"Puffball? Am I dreaming or are you talking to me?"
"It most certainly is me. I am here to tell you that it is Cat Adoration Time, and you WILL participate!"
"Hey--since when do you tell me what to do?"
"Listen, that thing you had the vet do to me three weeks ago was just plain unforgivable. But if you will indulge me in this ritual, at times of my own choosing, I won't have to vomit hairballs on the carpet."
"Sheesh...the things I do for you animals..."
"And another thing...what kind of a name is 'Puffball'? Sounds like some kind of fungus!"
"It's the kids' fault...whatever...just let me go back to sleep...well heck, now you've got me awake, I have to pee."
"While you're up, my food bowl is empty. That silly obnoxious dog's been in it again!"
I've been sharing a queen bed with three kids, a 4 month old lab puppy, and at least one cat for the last few nights.