Wednesday, May 06, 2015

What I'm thinking about right now (in no particular order)

I have not had the time (or, more accurately, made the time) for a coherent blog post lately. So many threads in the Dude's head.. So I'll fire some of them off here, more for a mental exercise for myself than for anyone's reading pleasure. So you're warned.

-It is getting green around here fast, and a couple weeks ahead of last year..
-First Ovenbird was heard this morning. 
-Pretty sure I heard an Eastern towhee here yesterday. That's a first.
-My son graduates in less than a month. Yes, I am freaking out about that. 
-My schedule this week is booked solid with baseball games and band concert.
-The band concert was emotional. A tribute to Colton. 
-I knew it would be, and I almost didn't want to go.
-But I did. 
-The East Central Eagles baseball team has won two games in a row. 
-I love watching high school baseball.
-I ran my first 10K last Saturday.
-Found out that people who run a 10 minute + mile do not generally run 10Ks. But I got my goal. 
-It hurts for longer than I thought after running a 10K. I have a bruise on the sole of my foot near a middle toe. 
Running the Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon next on June 20. Staying in a suite in Duluth's Canal Park with an old friend and a bunch of other runners. FUN! 
-My boss retired. I naturally applied for the job. We'll see. 
-Yoga felt really good tonight.

That is all. Namaste.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Thoughts for the day on writing

I came across this post by Parker J. Palmer on the On Being blog, via Facebook:

Three Eternal (So Far) Truths about Living and Writing

1. Care more about the process than the outcome.
2. Be generous in order to maximize the chances of dumb luck.
3. Dive deep, dwell in the dark, and value beginner's mind no matter how loudly your ego protests.
 ~and~ don't write about what you know. Write about what you want to know because it intrigues and baffles you.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Senior pictures

I am a delinquent mom. Don't most moms of high school seniors have the party all planned, announcements ordered, and senior portraits in a fancy box, ready for distribution by March? 

I admit, I don't know how to do this, and frankly I'm not ready. I can't believe my first born is graduating from high school. But, I am not one to worry about things prematurely. I come from a long line of worriers, and I guess it is my calling to break that chain. 

When I was in high school, we had senior portrait day in August, where a contract photographer would come in and take stiff indoor portraits. We could opt to have portraits taken by another studio, although they usually cost more. It was virtually unheard of to take your own. Of course, we did not have digital photography then. Nowadays I can take a higher resolution selfie than my senior portrait. 

I don't want to diss professional photographers either. They do a good job, and there are times when you don't want your memories left to you and a few friends. That said, I had my wedding photos taken by a couple cousins, and while they are not like the posed shots you see these days, they were fine for me. 

I never could see my son posing indoors wearing a suit. He did not own a suit until a month ago, when I had to buy one for his classmate's funeral. 

So, deadlines were approaching, and we did what had to be done. The first reasonably nice March day, Monday, it was sunny and 55 degrees. He and I had an unspoken agreement that pictures would be taken at Banning State Park, which in my opinion is one of the most beautiful spots on Earth. However, Banning is also the home to one of those adventures kids have that parents never want to hear about. It is part of Vinny's story, so I have to share it. 

One day in February 2014, Vinny and his friend Austin had some time to kill before catching the bus for an away basketball game. Since Banning State Park surrounds the school, and the park entrance is just down the road, they decided to check the ice on the Kettle River. Long story short: The ice was thin in places, as river ice is. Vinny had to explain to the coach why his pants were soaking wet on the bus. 

Anyway, the opportunity presented itself Monday, and we had a great time hiking around taking informal portraits. 

This captures Vinny more than any indoor portrait in a suit ever could. 

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Meteorological spring

This does not look like spring. It certainly doesn't feel like spring. But today, March 1st, is the beginning of "meteorological spring". Hmm. At least it did not get below zero last night. I celebrated with a 4.5 mile run. This picture was at the halfway point, at the top of a hill on a dead end road.

I felt strong, I felt good, even though I have this theory that breathing freezing air into my lungs slows my pace down. And running on half iced roads is a challenge. But the main thing was that I was out there, moving, alive. Last year at this time, a 4.5 mile run would have been a big challenge for me.

Nina and I will be running the Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon June 20 in Duluth. And the Brookings, SD Half Marathon in May, once I get us registered. We plan to wear our "Eagles Strong #24" shirts. Such a great thing, to be able to run.

Saturday, February 28, 2015


I am still dealing with the fact that my post about the basketball game is approaching 5,000 page views. I certainly did not think that what I wrote for myself, intended to share with a few friends, would reach that far. It made me nervous, in fact. I was editing the original post while I waited in line at JC Penneys to buy my son a suit for the funeral. I am nervous that so many people have read what was a heartfelt reaction to the untimely death of a friend, teammate, and classmate of my son. I hope I said everything right. I know I didn't, and there are places where I could have done better. I am sorry for that.

Healing has begun here. It can't ever get back to normal, but we're adjusting. Basketball season is over. It was heartbreaking, going to every game. But now there is baseball to look forward to.

There but for the grace of God go I. But where is the grace when a young man is gone? I don't know, and I guess I never will.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

East Central Eagles basketball live stream

The East Central Eagles host the Moose Lake/Willow River Rebels tonight at approximately 7:15. This will be the first home game without #24, Colton. Here is a link to the live stream; you can create an account or sign in with Facebook.

Eagles vs Rebels

I'll be there in the bleachers!

Friday, February 13, 2015

No one is ever ready for this

Our community lost a good kid this week.

On Tuesday morning, Nina came into our room in tears. She said, "Something really bad happened last night. Colton Nelson was killed in a car accident."

Words to immediately stop normal life. Nothing, from this point out, will be normal. Shock. Pain. Grief. It is all there. Even if you did not know the kid. But I did.

He was Homecoming king. Played football, basketball, golf. (I'll forgive him for the last one. We could have used him in baseball.) Vinny grew up with him, went to school with him since kindergarten, and was a basketball teammate. I didn't know how close they were, but it turns out Colton was the kind of kid who had many friends. I don't know anyone who didn't like him.

We are a small school. Vinny's graduating class is around 30 something, although most younger classes have more students. But we are small enough, this news hit like a tidal wave. Everyone in the school knew Colton. And, everyone liked him. There was nothing not to like. He was a good person with a bright future. So why???

I don't know. But our small school community has an amazing ability to pull together. I saw it in a basketball game last night.

There was a basketball game scheduled against Pine City the day the news came out. That game will be played on Saturday. There was another game scheduled last night in Ogilvie. This game was nothing short of amazing.

To give some perspective, East Central (our team) is in the middle of the conference standings. We have lost some games we shouldn't have, and except for a couple matches, our losses have been close, well fought out games. My son Vinny has shown amazing ability as a 6'5 center. (shameless parent bragging) On the other hand, Ogilvie is a team that does its best with what it has. The town, population 369, is on the crossroads of Minnesota highways 23 and 47, on the way to somewhere but not quite there. They have the shortest outfield fences of any I have ever seen. And, they have a new basketball coach, and a team that lacks experience. Nevertheless, in their first match against East Central, they won by 4 points, but key EC players (including my son) were out sick.

Last night, though, was destined to be different. I don't know how many people from East Central showed up, but it was probably about 200. Ogilvie had about 75 including the pep band, which played in tune and was small but good.

There was a moment of silence before the National Anthem. Appropriate.

We (actually Vinny, center) got the tip off, and Traivon scored within three seconds. That set the tone. Although, the gym was kind of quiet during that first half. I think it took time for East Central fans to get out of a grieving mode, into a cheering mode.

We stood up when our score reached 24. That was Colton's number.

I actually felt kind of bad for Ogilvie. Here we were, claiming this game for Colton, and they had to deal with the fact that they could not compete with the spirit that drove our team that night. Nevertheless, they presented our team with a sign, signed by every student, expressing their condolences. Ogilvie now rates in my mind as the classiest other school in our conference.

The East Central Eagles played like I have never seen them before. They had a purpose, and an energy. This season they have struggled with internal things, like most teams; players have quit, and others have had issues. But last night it seems they forgot all that. They played for the joy of playing, for the first time I have seen all season. They played for Colton. And Colton was there, the sixth Eagle on the court.

East Central ended up winning, 73-35. Vinny scored 14 points, if I did not lose count. Usually after the end of a high school ballgame, the crowd disperses quickly. But, while the Ogilvie fans filed out, no one from East Central was ready to leave.

(Photo by Lizzy Swanson)

We formed a large prayer circle. A student, accompanied by Hana, Colton's girlfriend, led us in prayer. It was perhaps one of the most profound, beautiful, tragic things I have ever experienced.

The energy at that basketball game moved me. It took a tragedy to get that going, but yet it was there. Somehow, I believe in people.

#24 forever