It's depressing, really. I was looking at my blog posts from last year, about this time, and they sound too familiar. For someone who prides myself in personal growth, this year has been a bust. I'm right back where I started.
I even missed my sixth blogiversary, which happened on January 21st. But I can be excused, maybe, for not thinking of my own milestones that weekend. On Sunday morning, the 23rd, I nonchalantly checked my Facebook page on my iPhone, and found some devastating news. Jim, a friend from nearly the start of this blog, had passed away. It literally knocked the breath out of me.
When I started blogging, I never imagined that I could develop friendships that transcend place. And when I thought I had reached that level, I thought "oh no. you've never met them IN PERSON. You don't know what they're really like."
So why did I find myself feeling like I had the wind knocked out of me, crying uncontrollably, feeling such a loss for some old hippie from California who happened to have a blog, and who happened to write very well, and who happened to share my passion for good folk music and good beer? Because I felt as close to Jim as I have to any friend I have "in real life". And sometimes I question whether I have any close friends "in real life". Jim and I shared music and beer through the mail, and his comments on this blog were always warm and friendly and thoughtful. I felt Jim's love for his family, his rage against a world gone wrong, but yet his appreciation for all that was good with the world. I really wish I could have made it out to Big Bear Lake, CA and shared a couple of homebrewed beers and a few tunes with him.
Didn't see that coming. Tomorrow is not a guarantee for any of us.
So where was I? In the middle of a Minnesota winter, which hasn't been too terrible around here. I happen to live in a small area which has managed to dodge the bullet from all the major snowstorms that have happened to the north and south of here. We had one or two nights of -20 degree weather, which if I remember from my first year of blogging, isn't that bad.
Most of my time is spent going to work, and then going to basketball games or picking Calvin and Starflower up from practice. I am so proud of them. Calvin, 8th grade, has found his social niche through sports and band, and Starflower, only in 6th grade, has shown amazing dedication to becoming a volleyball and basketball player. I look back at my junior high career and think wow...these kids sure didn't get their social skills from me!
Now if I could only figure out a way to spend less money on auto maintenance. A series of oil leaks in the Subaru, followed by a blown tire today. Sigh. That tire was only two months old! Either logging debris or bad stuff in the road sand.
Sorry this is so disconnected. It's just my state of mind these days...but maybe if I wrote more, it would get better. It's worth a try.